


Six Years After

by anyothergirl415



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-30
Updated: 2012-09-30
Packaged: 2017-11-15 09:31:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/525812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyothergirl415/pseuds/anyothergirl415
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen had a lot of things going for him – mostly, minus the recent loss of his mother and the boyfriend who wouldn’t come out of the closet. But a car accident one rainy night took it all away and gave him a power he never expected. Based loosely on the TV version of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0281432/">The Dead Zone</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Despite the rain pelting in sheets across the windshield, Jensen pressed his foot a little harder on the pedal. A grin split his face because this was one of those nights he just couldn't wait to get home. The day had been too long, his work too slow, and Jensen had a million and one other things he'd so much rather be doing._

_And, well, tonight was kind of a big night._

_When his phone rang, Jensen glanced down at the caller ID and sighed, shaking his head before lifting the device and pressing it up against his ear. "What? I haven't even been gone five minutes."_

_"You could have stopped by before leaving." His dad sighed into the line and Jensen tried hard not to roll his eyes. Leave it to his father to lay on the guilt trip on such an important night. "I want your opinion about your mother's last-"_

_"It can wait, Dad - Until tomorrow or whenever. I'll get to it." Jensen rubbed at his brow._

_"I just think your mother would want this taken care of sooner-"_

_"She's dead, Dad. She's not coming back. And the paperwork can wait un-" The car hit a bump and Jensen trailed off, head glancing down as the papers on his passenger seat slid to the floor._

_Whatever his father responded with was drowned out by the squeal of tires and Jensen's gaze snapped up, growing wide at the flash of bright lights._

-===-

Jensen blinked his eyes open, staring up at the dark spotted ceiling above him. His body felt... a little stiff though strangely loose, like he'd been lying in bed for a little too long. When he swallowed his throat felt dry and he slowly shifted to figure out what had happened and what he was doing here. Or where here was.

"Alright Mr. Ackles, time for your-- holy _shit_ you're awake."

Jensen blinked up at the wide blue eyes fixed down on him belonging to the blonde haired hospital worker. Right. A hospital. Jensen must have been in some sort of accident, that explained the scenery. And yeah, come to think of it, Jensen was pretty sure he remembered the flash of lights. 

"How long-" Jensen choked on the words, surprised by just how hard it felt to form them. Had something damaged his vocal cords during the crash or something? "What--"

"Shh, it's okay, don't try to speak." The hospital worker set his tray on the table and hurried forward, pressing a call button that beeped loudly and hurt Jensen's ears. "Mr. Ackles? Jensen? My name is Chad. Don't worry, you're okay, you've just... you've been in a coma for quite a while now." 

Once more Jensen blinked, wondering if it would change the way things seemed so weirdly blurry, like the man's body was wavering at the edges. Something felt really... strange about this entire thing. If he'd been in a coma for whatever constituted as _a while_ then his crash had to be pretty bad but he didn't have any casts and he didn't feel too physically damaged. 

Chad was going on about something, getting the doctor or getting his meds, but Jensen was stuck on trying to sort everything out. 

"How long?" Jensen asked, straining to lift his head from the pillow - but his neck felt so weirdly weak. Chad just stared at him and Jensen swallowed thickly and tried again. "How long... have I been in a coma?"

The look on Chad's face was clearly uncomfortable, his gaze shifting to the open front door and slowly back. "I'm not sure I should..."

"Please. Tell me." Jensen's heart quickened, his stomach twisting in anticipation of the fear of knowing. Something told Jensen whatever he was about to hear was going to throw his world into chaos.

"Well... six years."

Jensen was right. The very idea caused his brain to overload and once more the world faded into darkness.

-===-

When Jensen's eyes opened once again he was sure the conversation with the hospital worker named Chad must have been a dream; eespecially when his gaze settled on Riley. "Oh thank fuck," he nearly gasped and pressed his hands down into the mattress on either side of his body. 

But his arms didn't appear to be strong enough, he only rose a couple of inches off the bed before falling back and Riley stepped forward, his eyes wide with shock. "I thought they had to be lying. That it was a joke or something. I didn't think..."

"Ri," Jensen reached out, swallowing thickly at the shaky tone in Riley's voice. Jensen had heard that before - only a few weeks ago for that matter, when they once again fought over whether Riley could risk coming out to his family. "It's alright, I'm- I'm okay. See? I'm just... a little weak. Okay? So it's all-"

"God Jen- Jensen. It's been... fuck I stopped even hoping." Riley dug his hands up into his hair, turning to pace away from Jensen and stare out the window. "They said it was a less than ten percent chance. They said you'd never..."

The more Riley spoke the worst Jensen felt, his heart picking up speed and his breath catching in his throat. "Stop. Come on. It's only been- I just saw you. Yesterday, right? We were supposed to have a nice dinner, I was going to... are you..."

Jensen trailed off as Riley turned toward him, tears forming on the rims of his eyes. It felt like someone had shoved their fist into his stomach and twisted his guts and Jensen was scared to hear anything more. The look on his boyfriend's face said so much.

And then Riley stepped forward and something on his finger caught in the afternoon sunlight and Jensen felt suddenly light headed. There was a gold ring on Riley's left ring finger and Jensen had never noticed it before. As his heart began to twist and ache his gaze drifted up. Riley's hair was longer, lighter, and there were wrinkles along the edges of his eyes that had never been there before. His skin was tan like it always was in summer but... but.

It wasn't summer. It was the middle of October and Riley's tan had long since faded.

"Oh fuck," Jensen gasped in a breath, lurching up despite the way his muscles protested, he slid from the bed and tried to stand. "Has it really-"

Apparently Jensen had pushed his weak muscles too far. His legs gave out in the next moment and Riley hurried forward, reaching out for him. "Jensen? Just take it easy okay? Try not to push..."

Riley's voice faded off and for a moment Jensen thought he was going to black out again. His vision swam, the colors faded, and everything twisted out of focus.

_"What do you mean he's awake?"_

_A heavy sigh fell from Riley's lips and he turned along the well-polished hardwood floor, dragging a hand up through his hair. "Just like I said, He's awake. They called me because I'm the only one listed for him now. I had to talk to him and he just…."_

_"You went and saw him? Seriously? What the fuck Riley? Does this mean you're just going to leave me now? Run back to him? He's the one who left you for six years."_

_"Left me? Fuck Tom, he was in a goddamn coma!" Riley spun to the tall dark haired man and paced forward, grabbing his left hand and thumbing over the ring on his finger. "You are my husband and I love you. More than anything. But I can't just write Jensen off. He has no one left."_

"Jensen? Hey? Are you okay?"

"It's alright Riley, his muscles just aren't used to so much work." Chad the hospital worker with bright blue eyes was back and scooping Jensen up, lifting him easily up onto the bed once more. 

Jensen was rapidly blinking the tears from his eyes, his heart racing and his stomach churning unpleasantly. "You're married," he gasped out, looking up at Riley through the tears. "Tom... who is he? How did you meet? How long after my accident did you wait to replace me?"

"I- how did you know about that? How do you know about Tom?" Riley looked from Jensen to Chad. "You said you didn't tell him anything."

"I didn't." Chad stepped back, frowning at them both.

"I saw it. I saw you and him, talking about me waking up." Jensen rubbed at his eyes, not sure how to explain the image that had passed before his eyes. It had clearly been Riley and this man Tom, in a nice kitchen with hardwood floors and shiny appliances, and Jensen knew that look in his boyfriend - once boyfriend's - eyes. Riley was in love with Tom and Jensen's entire world was suddenly completely upside down.

Chad and Riley stared down at him for a long moment, both clearly confused. After a moment, Chad turned away and spoke. "It's been a really stressful day; I think Jensen should probably get some more rest. Maybe you can come back at a later time."

"No I don-"

"That sounds like a good idea." Riley nodded and reached out, hesitating for a moment and patting Jensen's shoulder. "Take care Jensen. I um, I'm glad you're awake. Really. Try not to push yourself too much okay?"

With that Riley turned and left the room, leaving Jensen with a million and one questions and no answers. What the fuck was going on?

-===- 

Over the next few days Jensen was poked a lot, prodded, treated somewhat like a walking miracle and Jensen supposed maybe that was true, but his life felt nothing like it. He sat in front of the TV in his wheelchair - as often as they would let him - and tried to absorb the changes that had happened in the world. Different President, different laws - the battle for gay marriage was one of the many things making his heart quicken - almost a whole damn different world.

But before he could watch more the attendants, most often Chad, would come and wheel him away and no one would tell him anything about the more personal details. Like Riley. Or his father, who had yet to come in to visit Jensen since he woke. Chad was friendly enough - though he got a bit pissy when Jensen called him a nurse, which was how Jensen learned he wasn't in fact in a hospital and was in a long term care facility instead. 

And apparently _nurse_ was a sensitive title for Chad, who was just a CNA. Whatever. The guy was weird, that much was clearly obvious.

On the third day in this new world, things got fuzzy in a strange way all over again. Since that first day Jensen had written the mini-movie in his mind when he touched Riley off to something else. Like being in a coma for six years and waking up to a shocking new reality. But this time, as Chad helped him from the chair and into the bed, he slipped and almost fell and his hand fell hard on Chad's forearm.

The world around him faded and spun and suddenly Jensen found himself staring out a street that looked only vaguely familiar. 

And then he was in a car, in the passenger seat, and Chad was sitting there beside him. Chad was singing along to the radio loud enough that he couldn't possibly know Jensen was there. For a moment Jensen wondered if maybe he'd blacked out and for some reason Chad had kidnapped him, maybe he thought Jensen was asleep there beside him. 

Then the radio DJ's voice came on. _That was the ridiculously popular 'Moves like Jagger' by Maroon 5. It's twenty past five and you're listening to the top forty with-_

The DJ cut off abruptly and Chad swore loudly, slamming the heel of his palm on the radio. Jensen lifted his gaze as Chad's stayed focused on the radio and his heart skipped a beat. There was a truck coming right at them, crossing the lane, running the light on _Windsong Avenue_.

Chad looked up just in time to watch the large truck smash into them and just as suddenly as Jensen had appeared in the car he was gone again. 

"Hey? Jensen? You okay?" Chad was hovering over him and Jensen had a sickening moment of fear, like he knew this would be the last time he saw the blond haired man that had become one of his only friends in this new world. 

Jensen's eyes snapped over to the clock on the wall. It was almost five now and he sucked in a sharp breath before trying to push up to sit. "Don't take your normal route home."

"Take it easy, come on, don't overdo it and pass out again." Chad laughed softly and shook his head, pressing the button to raise the bed up so Jensen was sitting more. "That better?"

"Listen to me Chad," Jensen snapped and blew out a shaky breath when Chad arched his brows curiously. "There's- you're going to get hit, head on by a truck when you cross Windsong Avenue. You can't take that route home."

"Dude. Stalker much? How the hell do you know what route I take home?" Chad stepped back, deep frown on his face. 

Jensen stared down at his hands, unsure how to answer Chad's supposedly simple question. How did he know? How could he _see_ something like that? It had felt so real, just like it had when he touched Riley. So apparently not only had Jensen lost six years of his life and his boyfriend - the supposed love of his life - but he was insane now too. Awesome. 

"I don't know," he finally whispered when Chad simply continued to stare. "I just... saw it. You have to trust me Chad. The crash will kill you, I know it. At- at the very least, when your radio stops working after _Moves like Jagger_ by Maroon 5, don't look at it. Keep your eyes on the road. Please? For me?"

"Man, you are some new breed of freaky." Chad laughed but it didn't sound near as friendly as normal and Jensen swallowed a sigh. 

But he would take losing Chad's friendship as long as it meant the man was still alive. 

"Will you just promise me?" Jensen forced his gaze up and pursed his lips. "You're one of the only people who will talk to me like I'm a normal person, not some god damn second coming."

The smile on Chad's lips twitched then warmed and he nodded slowly. "Yeah alright man, I'll be careful. Now, I'm out of here and I will see you in the morning. Take it easy okay?"

Jensen watched as Chad left, trying to shake the feeling that he'd never see the man again.

-===-

"Holy fucking _shit_ dude!" Chad burst into Jensen's room two hours later, causing Jensen to jump from the place he was dozing in his bed.

Jensen's heart was instantly slamming into double time and he ignored the ache and protest of his muscles as he forced himself upright. "What? What happened? Are you okay?"

Chad let the door fall shut with a heavy thunk and paced forward, digging fingers up into his hair. "I can't believe- I can't- I almost fucking _died_. How did you know? How the hell did you do that? What is- _what_."

The panic in Chad's words, painted across his face, was kind of amusing but Jensen swallowed down the laugh and tried not to freak out himself. After all, Chad's words meant Jensen's little vision thing had been real. Which meant Jensen really could apparently see the future. And _good god._

"I have no idea how I did it. I just- we touched and I saw... that. The whole moment, with the song and you singing badly and loudly…"

"Hey!"

"And then your radio went out and the truck was just there. It came at you and- so it really happened? How did you survive?" Jensen huffed out an almost excited breath, his emotions torn. He'd never really been a unique person before, never had something special about him, and now... this.

"The song was on and then, the radio went out and I just... I remembered what you said. I forced my gaze to stay on the road, I swerved in time to miss the truck. It crashed into a pole and I pulled over so I could help." Chad had rambled his answer and now he stood staring wide eyed at Jensen like somehow this would all line itself up and become something sane. "What the fuck man?"

"Apparently if you manage to wake after a six year coma you get a super power," Jensen offered, hoping that he'd break the tension by causing Chad to laugh.

The man didn't exactly laugh but some of the shock seemed to drain from his features and he slowly sat on the bed beside Jensen, scrubbing hard along the back of his neck. "Well. Alright then. I uh, okay, right so. What the hell do we do now?"

"We?" Jensen frowned for a moment then looked back up. "You mean, you're not going to commit me to a psych hospital or at least laugh in my face?"

"What? After you saved my life? I'm not an ungrateful douche, asshole, god." Chad huffed out an annoyed breath and smacked Jensen's arm just a little too hard.

Jensen flinched and arched his brows at Chad, wondering if the blond realized just how much he was contradicting himself. When Chad only stared back in response Jensen rolled his eyes and looked away. "Alright, well then I guess we... keep an eye on things? I can let you know if I have any further visions and we can try to... fix things? Should the vision be fixable?"

"Are you supposed to be fixing things like that? I mean, isn't it messing with fate or something? Or some type of spatial paradox Star Trek shit?" Chad scrunched his face up as he obviously struggled to put the pieces together in his mind. 

The laugh Jensen released had to be a little crazy sounding and he tilted his head back, collapsing back onto his pillow. It had been a long time since he laughed - six years and a couple of weeks at least - and by the time he calmed down Chad was smiling softly like he understood just how Jensen felt. It reminded Jensen how fucked up everything was right now and how _alone_ he really was, which had the smile sliding off his face in pretty quick fashion.

"I saved your life, which has to suggest I've got good karma on my side now and fate won't fuck with me. As for the paradox, I'm pretty sure that only happens when you travel to the future, or the past, or something like that. And I'm pretty sure Star Trek has nothing to do with it. So saving other people when I see something bad happening to them? Well, it has to be a good thing, right?" Maybe it would even give Jensen some type of purpose, something he was pretty sure he was going to need and soon.

Chad hummed thoughtfully for a few long moments then pushed up to stand, nodding. "Yeah okay, that sounds legit. So I'll help you as much as I can. For now, I'm out of here."

"Where are you going?" Jensen tried not to sound too upset but after getting a very clear confirmation that his visions were real, he could use some company. 

Apparently the unease must have been clear in his voice because Chad stopped before he reached the door, frowning slightly. "Relax dude, I'm just... I really shouldn't be here after my shift ends and after everything that's just happened? I'm feeling the major need to get extremely wasted. When you get out of here we'll have plenty of buddy buddy times I promise."

A smile played across Jensen's lips and he nodded. "Okay. I'll um, I'll hold you to that. Have a good night Chad."

"Yeah Miss Cleo, you too." Chad shot him a smirk over his shoulder before heading out of the room and leaving Jensen to his thoughts.

Which were really too much at the moment.

-===-

It took a solid three weeks post _the wake up_ before Jensen saw Riley again. Honestly, Jensen had given up on ever seeing his former lover again but then there he was, walking across the courtyard to the place Jensen sat in his wheelchair under the giant oak tree. Jensen's mouth instantly dried up and his heart ached. A good part of him was still trying to get over the man because up until a couple of weeks ago, he had sworn they were in love. 

"Hey... Jen-sen. Jensen. How are you doing?" Riley shifted awkwardly in place, his hands sliding in and out of his pockets like they always did when he didn't know what to do with himself. 

Jensen arched his brows and tried not to answer like Chad would. Which would be something like, _I just woke after six years to find the person who supposedly loved me has moved on, I can see the future when I touch someone, and my muscles are fucking useless, how the hell do you think I'm doing?_ Yeah, that probably wouldn't go over so well. 

"Fine," he answered instead and looked down, forcing his hands together on his lap and stretching out his legs as much as he could. "Um... how are you?"

"Oh I'm alright. I- yeah I'm... okay. So... well, look, they've called me - a couple of times actually - because there's apparently a few questions about your personal life you keep asking and they think it'd be better coming from someone you know. The answers you know? So, here I am. To answer your questions."

"How thoughtful of you," Jensen muttered dryly, unable to hold back the annoyance that flashed through him. Riley made it sound like some terrible inconvenience, being here with Jensen, and that hurt more than it should given the circumstances. 

"Hey! You can give me a break you know." Riley dropped heavily onto the bench beside Jensen and scoffed. "You have no idea how hard this has been on me."

Jensen's gaze snapped up toward Riley and he scowled. "How hard it's been on _you_? Excuse me, were you the one in a coma for six years? Only to wake up and find your entire world upside down? To find your lover gave up on you and your father doesn't even give a damn enough to come and visit? How dare you act like this-"

"He's dead Jensen! Fuck. Do you really think he wouldn't come to see you? Not everyone is a self-righteous asshole like you are." Riley was practically spitting the words by the time he finished but Jensen didn't notice.

Instead his mind was caught up and stuck on Riley's words. Jensen's stomach rolled and he could feel his lunch rising up his throat. _Dead_. His Dad was dead. _Jesus Christ_. It wasn't even that long ago Jensen was still reeling with the loss of his mother - though realistically, he supposed it was actually over six years ago - and now this.

"Shit. God, I'm sorry Jen I- I shouldn't have said it like that. I... are you okay?" Riley reached out, rubbing his shoulder reassuringly. "Just take a few deep breaths okay."

Jensen needed more than a few deep breaths. He tilted away from the touch - because it was just too much - and closed his eyes against the dizzying rush. Things had been more than a little rough with his father before the accident. Jensen was always closer to his mother and he'd never appreciated the way his father had acted when Jensen's mother was sick and on her deathbed - that and his reaction to having a gay son, it had almost torn them apart. 

But he'd always thought there was time; that he would somehow repair his relationship with his father, and maybe the man had even started to reach out to him but Jensen hadn't been ready. Now it was too late and Jensen would never have that opportunity again. His heart slammed painfully hard against his chest and he swallowed down the rolling threat of bile. 

"How?" He finally managed to gasp out, turning to look at Riley who was watching him with sympathetic eyes. "How did it happen? When?"

"About a year after you... after the accident. He just... didn't wake up one morning. People said it was too much, losing Donna and then you." Riley's gaze flickered from Jensen then away, lips tugging down in a heavy frown. "He just didn't see a reason to hold on anymore I guess."

Jensen - who had never seen Riley even interact with his father - stared for another long moment before sucking in a shuddering breath. "You and him... actually met?"

Riley huffed an unbelieving laugh and shook his head. "Yes. Jensen, Jesus, do you really think I wasn't with you every step of the way when your accident happened? I- I hardly left your room for weeks. And then you just kept sleeping and people had to pull me back into the real world. I had to keep living my life but I was still here, I came almost every day for over two years. After your father passed it was just... there was only so long before they wanted to move you to this place. I tried to fight it but eventually I had to just let them. I had to let you go."

The sadness in Riley's words was clear and Jensen could feel it heavily pressing down on him but he couldn't escape the idea that it had only taken two years for Riley to let go. He tried to imagine what he would have done if the tables were turned, if Riley had been the one in a coma, but he couldn't say. He liked to imagine he would have stayed by his former lover's side always but that was likely only because he now knew how it felt to be left. 

Jensen battled with the tangle of feelings rising in him and bit his lip to hold back the rise of tears. Riley gave all he could and Jensen had to accept that and let the man off the hook, no matter how much it terrified him to know how genuinely alone that left him. 

"Are you happy?" Jensen whispered, tilting his head up enough to glance at Riley from under his lashes. He watched his former lover's mouth open and close slowly then forced himself to continue. "With Tom. Does Tom make you happy?"

Riley hesitated a moment longer before exhaling audibly and nodding. "Yeah. He... he's been a really big help for me, we were just friends initially but he was so sweet and-"

"I don't need details," Jensen snapped, a little too harshly, then looked back up with a weak smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound harsh. I just... I don't think I'm quite ready to hear the details. I'm... I understand. I get why you had to move on and let me go. I promise I won't- I won't come between you two and I won't hold it against you. I just want you to be happy. Okay?"

There was a long moment of pause then Riley threw his arms around Jensen, hugging him tight. Jensen closed his eyes and tried not to lean into the touch too much. He could feel tears forming at his eyes and he squeezed them shut hard, tugging out of Riley's touch as much as he could.

"Jen..." Riley whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," Jensen managed to gasp out, turning away from Riley. "I just, need some time. I'm sure you do too. We should just, take some time, apart, and I'll get over you."

"Are you-"

"Please." Jensen dug his nails into his palms, more overwhelmed than he anticipated feeling. "Please, Riley, just go."

The tears that had been threatening finally burned over, streaking hot lines down his cheeks and Jensen tried not to listen to the heavy fall of Riley's feet as he walked away. Riley had been there to provide answers and, naturally, he'd left Jensen reeling with heartache and the deepest sense of loss. 

"Hey, you okay?" Chad's voice was soft and gentle, fingers stroking reassuringly over Jensen's shoulder. 

There were still tears falling down Jensen's cheeks and he shook his head, unable to get his voice to work just then. Thankfully Chad understood and grabbed the handles of Jensen's wheelchair, pushing him inside. 

-===- 

"Okay Jensen, just a few more steps and you can do it."

For the most part Jensen was fairly fond of all the people who worked at his temporary place of residency. But after a near two hour workout, all of his muscles were protesting and his body was close to collapsing, so there was no liking anyone at this point. Especially not Sandy, with her perky bright smile and her big brown eyes; Jensen would never hit a woman but boy was he tempted.

"Come on now, I know you're tired but we just have to make it down one more walk way and then I promise you can rest."

Jensen sucked in a deep breath and forced himself forward, his fingers straining to clutch around the bars on either side of him. There was sweat beading across his flushed face and the next breath was labored and painful. Before this - before the accident and the damn coma - Jensen could bench press near two twenty, no problem. 

And now this. 

"Okay just a few more steps. You can do it Jensen, I know you can. Just a few more."

Seriously, if this kept up, Jensen was going to end up passing out _on_ Sandy. That would teach her. _Just a few more_ his ass.

Finally, what felt like a lifetime later, Jensen reached the end of the walkway and he nearly fainted in relief. The wheelchair was right in front of him and Jensen thought maybe he could just make it a couple more steps, then he could sit, and relax and not have to repeat this horrible torture until... that afternoon. Damnit.

But even with his best intentions in mind - like showing Sandy that he was fully capable of getting himself into the chair despite the way she hovered like a worried mother hen - it wasn't all that easy. Jensen swayed then stumbled and before he could think better of it, his hand snapped out to grab the first thing he could. 

Which, in this case, happened to be Sandy's hand. And Jensen didn't even have a moment to brace himself before the world around him faded. 

_Fear was covering Sandy's usually bright features, fear and pain and something like resignation. Her hand hovered just above the doorknob of a hotel room, its numbers on the wood rusted and tarnished._

_All the air rushed from Sandy as a moan sounded from inside the room and the girl finally closed her hand around the knob and twisted. It took only a moment for the door to swing open and Sandy sucked in the breath she'd just released. There was none of the fear on her face now, just betrayal and pain and the deepest type of heartache._

_"How could you?"_

_The couple on the bed - that were in the middle of a rather rough looking round of fucking - froze and the man's eyes widened. "Shit. Sandy. Shit shit shit. I- Jesus San- what are you doing here? How did yo-"_

_"How the fucking hell could you?" Sandy snapped, stalking across the room and shoving hard at the man. "I trusted you Jonathan! I loved you! How could you do this to me? We're supposed to get married! You're supposed to love me forever!"_

"Hey? Jensen? Can you hear me?"

It was such a shock to be pulled from the vision, to hear Sandy's voice so soothing and calm, that Jensen could only stare. His gaze flickered down to the shiny diamond on Sandy's ring finger and his heart ached for the girl. So much of him wanted to say something, to warn the girl not to go to the hotel, but this was one future event he couldn't stop. 

Sandy didn't deserve to be broken in such a way but she had to know the truth. It was better than learning some time later, like after they'd married. Not telling the girl though, that was a tough one.

"You okay Jen?" Sandy sounded even more worried now and she knelt down, reaching out for his hand.

Jensen jerked back before she touched him again - just in case the vision repeated itself, he couldn't handle that. "I- I'm fine. I'm okay. Can you just... can you get Chad?"

Hurt flickered across Sandy's delicate features before she nodded and stood. "Yeah okay, I'll go get him. You just sit tight."

Like he was going anywhere. Jensen couldn't escape the betrayal on Sandy's face from his vision, the way tears had streamed down her cheeks as she yelled at Jonathan, it almost brought tears to his own eyes. 

When Chad showed up a few minutes later he took one look at Jensen's face then squeezed his shoulder and silently wheeled him from the workout room. He didn't pressure Jensen to tell what he'd seen and he simply sat and listened when Jensen explained it on his own a few minutes later in the confines of his own room. 

"Holy shit..." Chad whispered when Jensen had finished, rubbing at the faux-goatee he was _trying out_. "Poor girl. I remember when they got engaged. She was so excited."

"Well, at least she knows now," Jensen sighed and shifted on his bed, wishing he could wipe the vision from his mirror. "Or... she will know. Tonight, tomorrow. Sometime soon."

Chad groaned and stood, shaking his head roughly. "We have to tell her. No one should have to find out that way. She deserves better, she's such a sweet girl."

Before Chad could leave the room Jensen reached out and snagged his arm, tugging him back. "You can't. One, you'll sound absolutely bat shit insane and two, she needs to know. It will hurt but it could hurt more in the long run. All we can do is comfort her when... after she finds out."

It didn't seem like Chad was going to agree, the argument was clear on his face, but a moment later he sighed and nodded, sitting hard down on his chair. This vision thing was suddenly a lot more complicated. 

-===-

Jensen had never realized just how extensive the healing process post coma could really be. But, three months later when he was getting an okay to finally head home, he had a whole new respect for the medical practice. When Jensen had first woken his muscles were weak if not useless and he felt exhausted just from moving from the bed to the wheelchair. After countless hours of rehab though - not to mention more than a dozen annoyingly cheerleader like conversations with Chad - Jensen was ready to face the real world. 

With the help of the constant cane at his side of course and a live in medical aid/physical therapist; the aid thing was something Jensen was still a little hesitant about. It already felt strange knowing he was heading home to his parent's manor, a place he hadn't lived since he'd graduated high school and promptly moved out. But now he was going to be living with a stranger who was going to be in charge of his well-being, it was more than a little overwhelming.

Throw the visions on top of that and Jensen was almost tempted to stay behind the safe walls of the rehab center. Besides, of course, the visions that Jensen couldn't escape. But he was trying not to think about those. 

"You ready?" Chad clapped Jensen hard on the shoulder, causing him to sway forward before regaining his balance.

Jensen scowled as he looked up and found Chad smirking at him. "Are you planning on killing me first?"

"Oh boo hoo you big baby," Chad huffed, rolling his eyes and tugging the back door of his car open, tossing Jensen's bag in. "You just be thankful that I'm even giving you a ride. If you'd had to wait for Jared you might be here all afternoon."

It wasn't the first time Chad had made some offhand comment about Jensen's new aid - whose name was Jared and apparently had attended school with Chad which wasn't very reassuring - and this one was no less comforting. "If I call you in the middle of the night because my aid has set my house on fire by cooking popcorn or something, will you come to my rescue?"

"Only if you can produce those winning lotto numbers." Chad shot him a smirk as he drove out of the parking lot, taking Jensen toward a freedom he hadn't ever expected to regain again. 

A potentially insane - and Chad-like - aid and fear of the real world aside, Jensen was mostly relieved to be breathing completely fresh air again. Or well, as fresh as the air in Chad's car was. Which was questionable. "I told you, I don't control how the visions come. You think I want to watch people learning some horrible news? Or walking in on their lovers cheating on them? It sucks."

"You're telling me. I become a super hero's sidekick and he doesn't even have awesome powers." The longing sigh that fell from Chad had Jensen glancing over with an arched brow, not surprised the smirk was still there on the blonde’s lips.

"You would make a horrible side kick." Jensen slowly grinned at his friend and - not for the first time - he was relieved to have Chad there at his side. They'd grown impossibly close over the last few months and Jensen was pretty sure he'd never have made it through the emotional turmoil without him. 

"Shut your pretty ass face, I would be the best side kick there ever was." Chad smacked Jensen's arm a little too hard, laughing when Jensen winced.

There was some sort of retort on the tip of Jensen's tongue but the words cut off as they turned up the drive of his home and his eyes landed on the man waiting outside his truck. He was tall with golden hair, built like a god had shaped and molded each perfect muscle in a tender caress while up in the heavens, and maybe Jensen had spent a little too long confined in one place. Whatever. This man was absolutely gorgeous and Jensen had a sinking feeling in his gut as to who he was exactly.

"Oh good, Jared's already here which means I don't have to spend even _more_ time with your lame ass. And, you're drooling."

Jensen snapped his jaw shut quickly, nearly biting his tongue and turning his gaze away. "You didn't tell me he was so, so... god damn," Jensen muttered, trying to fight off the way his cheeks were burning. This was just unfair, Jensen had spent the last three months getting over Riley, moving on mentally, and now he finally felt ready to start just _thinking_ about his future dating life. That did not make him ready to be living with some guy who'd be better suited as the star of some porn movie.

"There is no _god damn_ when it comes to Jared. Or dicks in general." The sheer _ew_ level that Chad was stressing was thick in his voice and Jensen groaned and rubbed along the back of his neck.

There was just no way Chad could understand. "While I'm relieved to learn you won't be competition, there's no way I can handle this."

Chad turned the key in the ignition and pulled it free, looking over at Jensen with a look that made it clear just how _stupid_ he thought Jensen sounded. "How about you just focus on the fact that this man is supposed to be helping you live and stop imagining him jumping your bones, yeah?"

"I hate you," Jensen breathed moments before the passenger door was opened and Jared was there, squatting down to meet Jensen's eyes and lay the full force of his dimple laced grin on him. 

"Hey there! You must me Jensen. I'm Jared Padalecki, and it's so great to meet you."

It would just figure Mr. Tall, Bronze, Super Porn God was nice to boot. Jensen smiled weakly and stared at the offered hand, weighing the pros and cons of potentially seeing whatever future would be as a result of Jared's touch. He decided he'd rather not learn his new aid's dirty details right off the bat and gave his hand a weak, quick slap of fingers that was over before any vision blurring could begin. "Uh yes, that's me. Nice to meet you Jared."

"Fantastic. Come on, I'll help you up." Jared didn't hesitate - or lose his smile, despite Jensen's rather awkward attempt at a high five - reaching in to easily pull Jensen's legs out from under the dash and turn him as if Jensen weighed nothing. 

Jensen was still trying to process _that_ when the man scooped in, looped an arm around his middle and dragged him up to his feet. If Jensen swayed any more than usual it was only because Jared smelled so _good_. "I uh- I can do it. I can get up myself, I mean. I'm fine."

"Oh, right, sorry. Was just..." Jared's smile dimmed slightly as he stepped away from Jensen, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Anyway, um, do you have any items I can take inside for you?"

"Here you go Pada-dick." Chad shoved Jensen's bag hard against Jared's chest.

Jensen gripped his cane tightly, blinking wide eyed from Jared to Chad. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know the reason behind that nickname, or the reason it brought a blush bright to Jared's cheeks, no matter how curious he was. "Right. Well. I'm not touching that. Chad, are you sticking around?"

"Nah, gonna give you two a chance to bond." Chad smirked and clapped Jensen hard on the shoulder, snorting a laugh when Jensen stumbled a couple steps forward and Jared hurriedly tried not to drop the bag in his arms and keep Jensen from falling. "See you douches later, try not to bump dicks too much!"

The amount of heat that crawled up Jensen's cheeks was rather remarkable and he wanted to hiss out Chad's name but his supposed friend was just laughing in that evil, maniacal way of his and Jensen would rather not draw any more attention to his embarrassment. Chad roared his engine a little too loudly before squealing out of the driveway and speeding off down the road.

Jensen was left standing beside Jared outside a house he hadn't been inside in years and riding out a painful wave of heat. 

"Typical Chad," Jared muttered then laughed, offering his free hand out to Jensen. "Shall we head inside."

Once again faced with the idea of grasping Jared's hand - and _fuck_ couldn't the guy take a hint - feeling that smooth warmth along his skin, was tempting but Jensen wasn't sure he could risk it. Last time their touch had been so fleeting and Jensen had been lucky not to _see_ anything, but he couldn't risk threading their fingers together. Who held hands with completely strangers anyway? So instead he squeezed his cane harder and pressed forward, ducking his head to keep from seeing any look that might be on Jared's face at the brush off. 

"So... this is a pretty big place," Jared continued casually so Jensen figured he wasn't hurt or anything because he didn't want to hold hands. "It belonged to your family I'm assuming?"

It just figured that Chad had been riling him up for nothing. Jared was probably as straight as they came - and even if he wasn't, he sure wouldn't be interested in a freak like Jensen who'd spent the last six years in a coma and got weird freaky visions when he touched people. So really it was better to stop thinking about it now and start adjusting to this gorgeous man being his new roommate and constant companion. 

"Uh yeah. Has been in my family for almost a century." Jensen finally answered after too long of a pause, tugging his keys from his pocket and staring up at the surprisingly daunting front door. He suddenly wasn't sure he was ready for this new life, for moving on and picking up the pieces of his past that didn't really exist any longer. 

It still felt like only months ago - and in his mind it was - when he had a good blooming career - even if it was with his dad who he didn't have the best relationship with - and a boyfriend he was in love with - who wasn't ready to come out for him but, still. Okay. So. Shit.

"Who's winning?" Jared asked quietly and Jensen looked up, not sure how long he'd been standing there and simply staring. The man smiled softly and leaned against the door frame to watch Jensen. "You or the door? Looks like some type of epic stare down."

A faint smile twitched across Jensen's lips and he sighed and looked down at the smooth cane grasped beneath his fingers. "I just realized that I'm terrified about trying to start my life over. Which subsequently caused me to realize that my life before the coma really wasn't that great; I had good moments, sure, but mostly I don't really think I was very happy."

Silence lingered between them for a few minutes and Jensen risked a glance up when it stretched out for too long. Jared was smiling sadly at him, understanding in a way Jensen didn't expect, and everything got all warm again. Oh god, this was already turning into _too much_.

"I'm sorry, does this amuse you?" Jensen snapped, pretending for whatever the reason that he didn't read all the emotions beneath Jared's smile. It was easier than admitting Jared already somehow got him on a deeper level. 

The smile on Jared's lips faded almost completely and he pushed away from the door frame. "No. Sorry. I just... I understand. Or well, I sort of understand, as much as I can. Not that I've ever been in a six year coma."

"No. You haven't." Jensen stared at Jared a moment later before stepping toward the door and slipping his key into the lock. No point in delaying the inevitable, they had to go inside eventually, and the longer he stood out here on the front step with Jared the more likely he was to burst into tears or something else ridiculous. 

All the lights were off but enough sunlight was beaming through the windows that Jensen could see the rise and swirl of dust. The air smelled old, stale, and Jensen wasn't sure he could actually get himself to cross the threshold. His hand lifted to rest on the solid wood of the door frame and for a moment Jensen swore he saw his mother laughing as she bent over and chased him as a playful three year old through the foyer. 

"Wow, this place is gorgeous," Jared breathed and slipped past Jensen, heading into the spacious front room, the slap of his shoes sounding incredibly loud on the nicely polished hard wood floor. "Needs a couple of old shirts and a bottle Pledge, possibly a shop vac, but that's what I'm here for."

"I didn't realize you're a maid as well," Jensen muttered then bit his tongue, instantly wishing he could take the words back. Why did he have to sound like such an asshole all the time? Maybe he'd just been spending too much time with Chad. 

Thankfully Jared seemed capable of handling the blows. He gave Jensen a grin and set the bag down at the foot of the stairs, clasping his hands together and rubbing them like he couldn't wait to clean absolutely everything. "Well, Jensen, it happens to be your lucky day. I'm your maid, cook, psychical therapist, and general eye candy for all your staring needs. Now, do you have a room here on the ground floor you can use? Or would you like to use the stairs for part of your exercise routine?"

Jensen was fairly certain he wasn't ready for someone like Jared Padalecki in his life. But there were probably a thousand and one things he wasn't ready for. "My room is upstairs, so, exercise routine it is."

When Jared grinned so bright it formed dimples in his cheeks, Jensen just barely swallowed a breathy _god damn_.


	2. Chapter 2

"I just can't do this. It's sunny and he'll be glistening and in water and I keep trying not to think about him like _that_ but how can I possibly just ignore what's right in front of my eyes every god damn minute? He's always bending over getting the laundry or doing the dishes and his ass is just-"

"Jesus mother fucking _Christ_ when did I become your gay hotline?" Chad practically screamed to smother Jensen's words. "I cannot handle any further ass talk. My ears have just been violated. My soul is dirty, my poor _innocence_."

Chad's outburst was too high pitched and over exaggerated but it had the desired effect. A smile twitched at Jensen's lips and he turned away from the mirror where he'd been examining the complete lack of a six pack. Somehow Jensen was still managing to maintain his friendship with Chad - though he'd completely failed when attempting to create the same connection with Jared. It helped that Jensen saw Chad like a playful puppy you couldn't help throw a tennis ball for while Jared was more... the star of every naughty fantasy Jensen was resolutely pretending not to have.

"Would you just sympathize with me? I mean, honestly, he wants to go _swimming_." Jensen groaned and crossed the room in wide limping steps, snatching his cane thankfully from where it was leaning against the desk. 

He'd been home less than a week and already his muscles seemed to be at a maximum. Jared kept insisting Jensen relax more - and not go up and down the stairs more than really necessary - but Jensen hated feeling so weak. That was probably why the pool thing had come up, Jared thought it would be a brilliant work out. Jensen was pretty sure he was going to black out. 

"So you want me to sympathize with you because you get to hop in a swimming pool with the object of your pervy, lust filled fantasies? Oh yes, my heart goes out to you," Chad said flatly and Jensen could just imagine his eye roll. 

There was a knock at the door that interrupted Jensen mid-snort. Since the wood creaked open with the force of Jared's fist the man was able to hear the ridiculous noise even as Jensen spun and choked on it. Because, there Jared was in all his swim trunk glory, all bronzed and rippling and Chad was really fucking right about the _pervy lust filled fantasies._

"Jen?" Chad's voice echoed through the line. "Please tell me you're not having some literal vision about Jared now."

"It doesn't work that way," Jensen mumbled though he couldn't take his eyes off Jared. "I gotta go."

"Have fun in the pool sweetie, play nice with the big bo-"

Jensen hung up before Chad could say any more - just in case Jared could hear the man and his tendency to talk way too fucking loud. Jared just kept staring at him with a warm smile, leaning against the doorframe like he had no care in the world that he was near naked. But hell, if Jensen looked like Jared did, he strut around naked all the time without a care in the world. 

"Chad's an asshole," Jensen muttered though it had been at least a minute since he hung up. A long, drawn out moment in which he'd just been staring open mouthed at Jared like some sort of socially stunted idiot. _Awesome_. 

Six years in a coma apparently reset all his well learned social skills. 

Jared just laughed and turned, heading out of the room. "Could have told you that," he called over his shoulder. "Come on, let's go get wet."

Jensen tried not to shiver at the mental images sparked up by Jared's words but he was kind of doomed. He followed - naughty fantasies be damned - much slower and prayed he did nothing in the pool to seriously embarrass himself. More than he already had at least.

By the time he made it outside Jared was already in the pool and swimming laps. Jensen took a moment to stare and appreciate the bunch give pull of Jared's muscles each time he breached the surface and dipped back down. When Jared stood at the edge of the pool, water trailing down miles of golden skin, Jensen felt his cock fattening in a way it hadn't in a ridiculously long time. 

The doctors had warned him it could take a few more months for his sexual drive to return. The doctors, apparently, had never met Jared Padalecki. 

"Ready? I promise we'll take it easy, see how you feel and go from there okay?" Jared's smile was soft and easy and Jensen really had to envy how easy this all was for him. 

He never got twitchy or stuttery around Jensen. He never stopped and stared with lust in his eyes and a rapidly hardening cock - not that Jensen noticed at least, which was assuming he was gay to begin with. Which, knowing Jensen's luck, was not the case. And who would want someone with Jensen's amount of baggage anyway?

_Oh hey, date me, even though I've been in a coma for the last six years and can see the future when I touch someone. No big._

"Jen? You're going to have to trust me at some point," Jared murmured, soft and understanding like he could read Jensen's thoughts. 

He couldn't, thank god, otherwise Jensen was fairly sure he'd be not the least bit understanding and probably a little pissed. Jensen forced a small smile on his face and stepped forward, leaning his cane against the deck chair. "It's not that I don't trust you. It's just... I'm like a cat, right? I hate water. Water hates me."

"Meow." Jared grinned and climbed out of the water.

Before Jensen could even roll his eyes the man was _right there_ scooping Jensen easily up in his arms and carrying him down the steps into the water. Jensen flailed and remembered seconds before it was too late that he couldn't let his hands touch Jared's bare skin. Now would be the worst of all times to have any sort of vision about Jared. Jensen was far too focused on the _what the fucking fuck._

"I am capable of walking you know," Jensen muttered though it sounded rather pitiful even to his own ears. 

Of course and naturally, Jared just laughed and set him in the shallow end, stepping back and out of Jensen's personal bubble. Which was probably a good thing since Jensen was just about to stroke the man's biceps to see if they really were rippling. God. _Fuck_ Jensen's life. 

If he managed to survive any of this it was going to be a miracle. 

-===-

Jensen hovered just outside the kitchen, watching as Jared swiveled his hips and sang - rather poorly - along with the radio. The man's tendency to wear an absurd lack of clothing was getting kind of too much - like mowing the lawns without a shirt and cleaning the bathrooms barefoot with tan khaki shorts. Who the fuck wore tan khaki shorts anyway?

Not even to mention the whole swimming pool fiasco that replayed in Jensen's memories like mentally downloaded softcore porn.

So there was now, in which Jared was cooking breakfast while wearing only boxers. And yes, this was the place Jared basically lived now - Jensen had offered him a day or two off a week but so far the man hadn't taken more than an evening one night. That was no reason or excuse to dress like a fucking _prostitute._

Maybe that was a little on the extreme side. But seriously.

"If you get grease on your man bits I reserve the right to laugh at you," Jensen mumbled, forcing himself to step into the room because just standing out there staring was ridiculous.

Jared shot him one of those lethal dimple laced grins then turned back to the frying pan on the stove, flipping the omelette easily. "You just said _man bits_. I can laugh at you forever now."

Jensen rolled his eyes and tried not to limp too obviously as he headed across the kitchen to the bar stool. After the first few days of being back in his old family home Jared had not so subtly suggested the stairs were too much for Jensen but that only implied Jensen was somehow weak and he was not having that. So he'd kept his mouth shut, even as his muscles began to protest and he reached the point that making more than two trips up the stairs was about his limit. 

Even then he spent a good part of the night in agony. 

"You know, you're supposed to tell me when the pain is intolerable." Jared sighed and turned to set a plate and the omelette in front of Jensen's stool before he'd even had the chance to sit. 

Rolling his lips together, Jensen pushed up onto the stool, unable to hide a wince as his muscles ached. "It's not. Not intolerable anyway. I just... I have to move a lot more here than I did in the clinic. I'm still getting used to things."

"Well it really doesn't have to be painful. At least not _that_ painful. I'm here to help you." Before Jensen could really decide what that meant Jared was crossing the counter, laying his hands over Jensen's shoulders and massaging slowly. "I can help you."

Jensen instantly tensed, forcing himself to slowly relax as Jared's hands slid down the curve of his shoulders. It really hadn't taken Jensen long to learn that he only had the visions when his bare hands touched someone else's bare skin but he still expected it after every touch - though the work out sessions in the pool really should have been reassuring. It was kind of horrible to know how limited his ability to touch was; Except when Chad touched him because - for whatever the reason - Jensen only got one vision per person apparently. 

Not that Chad wanted to touch him much, or that Jensen wanted Chad to either. 

"What are you thinking about?" Jared asked quietly, massaging his thumbs in slow circles at the base of Jensen's neck.

"Chad," Jensen answered automatically, wincing as Jared squeezed just a little too tight. "Uh, that sounds a lot weirder than I meant."

Jared chuckled though Jensen thought it might sound weird - not that he spent a lot of time analyzing Jared's laughs or anything. "Right. Well, you want me to rub out some of the kinks here?"

"What now?" Jensen huffed, arm swinging out as he struggled to turn and knocked his glass of orange juice across the counter. 

It fell to the floor and shattered and Jensen took the opportunity of Jared's distraction to flee the room. Fuck breakfast and his aching - protesting - muscles and Jared's far too enticing offer. Jared was a nice guy, he helped around the house and forced him through ridiculous work outs, and Jensen just kept making an idiot out of himself. His life was just too complicated for this shit.

Jensen planned on heading outside, getting some fresh air, but he was thrown headlong into an unexpected vision as he tugged the door open and stepped right into a thin blond standing in the doorway, his hand curling over her arm to keep from falling.

_"It-it was just so sudden. We didn't... oh god. How am I supposed to be okay without him? He means- meant, so much t-to me."_

_"Shh. It's okay Katie, I know it's..." Jared trailed off with a sad sigh, wrapping his arms tight around the blond and holding her close. "He was so strong, he held on as long as he could."_

_"But he's my best friend," Katie choked on another sob, clinging to Jared until he was supporting all of her weight. "My brother- he was- he's_ everything _."_

_"I know Katie, I know. It's going to be okay, he'd want you to- he wouldn't want-" Jared choked on his words, tears streaming down his cheeks._

"Jen? You okay?" Jared was there now and gasping Jensen's arm, pulling him back and away from Katie. "Katie? What's- are you hurt?"

Katie simply shook her head and Jensen's heart ached for the girl he didn't even know - who could very well be Jared's girlfriend really. Jensen swallowed thickly and stepped back, trying to stop tears from forming in his eyes. He hadn't felt a vision so utterly heart wrenching before, at least not since the moment in the rec room with Sandy. 

"What's going on?" Jared asked quietly, looking between them both with confusion. 

"It's..." Katie choked on a sob and shook her head, folding her arms protectively over her chest. 

"Her brother," Jensen answered before he could think better of it.

The surprise on Katie's face was clear even through her agony and she dropped her arms, staring wide eyed at Jensen. "How did you know that?"

Thankfully, Jensen didn't have to come up with some answer he didn't have. Because Katie's brother must have been sick for a while and Jared knew it. The man sucked in a quick breath and stepped forward, drawing Katie close in a tight hug. "Did it happen? Oh Katie, I'm so sorry."

Jensen left before attention could be brought to him once more. He glanced back long enough to watch Jared leading Katie off. He needed to find a way to shake the way it felt like his entire world had just been lost. This vision had clearly affected him more than any other. 

-===-

For the first time since Jared had moved in two weeks before, Jensen ate dinner alone - food that he'd made himself no less. In fact, he didn't see Jared again until the following morning, while he was still reeling with a wave of shock after watching Katie walk almost blindly through the kitchen in one of Jared's too big shirts. She'd poured herself a mug of coffee, left it black, and turned to exit the room without so much as a glance at him. 

Never mind it being Jensen's house and all.

Minutes later, while Jensen was struggling to calm the irrational pinch of jealousy in his chest, Jared turned up and well, Jensen honestly didn't mean to snap. It just kind of happened. "I didn't realize you'd been given permission for your girlfriend to stay over at _my_ house."

Jared's steps faltered and he slowly turned to Jensen, considering him with an arched brow and a twitch at the side of his mouth that suggested he was trying not to smirk. "And where did you get the idea that she's my girlfriend?"

Understandably, Jensen wished he could take back the words. Or replay this entire morning so he could make a quick escape out of the kitchen the moment Katie disappeared. Instead he ducked his face to hide the flame of color to his cheeks and sighed. "Sorry, that's none of my business. I um- I don't care if your girlfriend stays over. It's- yeah, whatever. This is your home too."

"I'm not his girlfriend," Katie said quietly from the kitchen doorway, looking a lot more awake than she had before. She was dressed now in the clothes from yesterday and her eyes were red and puffy, reminding Jensen just how heart wrenching his vision of her yesterday had been. "Everyone knows Jared is-"

"Better off single," Jared swiftly interrupted, shooting Katie a look that Jensen couldn't decipher. "And sorry, Jensen, you had every right to be mad. It is your home and I should check with you before having someone stay over."

Jensen swallowed down his internal voice that was not too quietly screaming _jack ass_ and gave Katie a small smile. "I understand. Katie, I'm really sorry about your brother I... you two must have been close."

Katie shifted away from the doorframe and cleared her throat, carrying her cup to the sink and rinsing it out. "We were. How did you know about that anyway? It being my brother and all?"

"Oh I um..." Jensen glanced from Katie to Jared, his heart quickening in his ears. The first vision Jensen had had in two weeks and he was facing having to explain it _two_ people, one of which he still had to live with. Even when they were both likely to consider him insane. "I just... I... I think I need some fresh air. Just a walk, I'll be back."

Before either of them could question him Jensen stood and limped as quickly as he could from the kitchen, his cane clicking loudly on the hardwood floor. He knew as long as Katie was around there would be nothing but questions and even then Jared would probably press for more - knowing Jensen's luck the man would likely accuse him of being a stalker or something else ridiculous. 

And what was Jared's deal anyway? 

Who was really _better off single_? Sure Jensen was going through a bit of a romantic slump but he had a damn good reason - six year coma, former love of your life moving on, all that jazz - and as far as Jensen knew, Jared had none of those reasons. 

Jensen stopped with his hand on the front door knob, a thought hitting him hard enough it nearly hurt. He had no idea if Jared had any reason for being better off without someone because he didn't know Jared at all. Two weeks he'd been living with this man and he was more likely to go out of his way not to interact because of his pathetic fears rather than even trying to create some sort of friendship. 

God damn, Jensen really _was_ a jack ass.

"Jensen? Are you okay?" Jared - unsurprisingly - was there a beat later, touching Jensen's shoulder in a way he never seemed able to help. Some sort of comforting caress to ground both people to the moment. 

If only it didn't make Jensen's heart pick up speed and his palms begin to sweat. He swallowed thickly and released the door knob, turning to face Jared and smiling uncertainly. "Do you want to go do something today?"

Surprise - or what Jensen assumed was surprise considering how little he knew about Jared - crossed Jared's features before he smiled. "Yeah? Like what?"

"Um... well I haven't been to the city center in... a really long ass time. We could go there, they have some neat shops." Jensen shrugged and glanced toward the entryway where Katie was lingering. "I mean, unless you need the day off. It's okay, you can spend some time with Katie, help her out or whatever."

"She has to get home to her family." Jared's smile softened like he was reading more into Jensen's words than he should. It would just figure. "I'd love to go to the city center. And here I thought you were mastering your hermit skills."

Jensen flushed at that and ducked his head, small smile playing across his lips. "I've just been working up to the idea of crowds again. I um, I'm just going to go shower then."

He brushed past Jared to head for the stairs, ready to slip under too hot water and _not_ think about that gorgeous dimple curved smile on Jared's face while he jacked off. Once upon a time Jensen was fairly sure things like smiles didn't turn him on. 

"Oh hey Jen-" Jared turned and caught his hand and Jensen only had a moment to stare at Jared's lips as they continued to form words that were silent before his vision swam and faded.

_Jensen's eyes widened as he found himself staring at... himself. In bed. With Jared. His bed, his bedroom, bodies bare._

_The Jensen on the bed moaned softly and rolled away from the sunshine breaking through the blinds. "It is too early to be awake."_

_"Well maybe if someone hadn't kept me up until two in the morning," Jared snorted and slid closer, tucking arms around Jensen's and pulling him in close so their bare bodies pressed flushed together._

_Shock was rippling through Jensen as he crossed over to the bed, staring down at the image of himself and Jared and trying to accept that what he was seeing was real. This didn't seem like a first time deal, they were comfortable together, like this, like they'd been doing this thing for a while._

_"That was entirely your fault. I take no respons-" Jensen cut off as Jared's cell phone started playing the original cast version of 'Slipping Through My Fingers' from the musical Mamma Mia. Jensen's brows arched and Jared huffed a laugh as he rolled over to the nightstand._

_"Yeah I know, so gay of me, you really need better lines." Jared grinned over at Jensen then answered, lifting the device to his ear. "Hey Mom! How's-"_

_"Jared-" A woman's voice gasped on the line and, though it seemed the version of him on the bed couldn't hear, Jensen was able to hear her choked sobs clearly. "Your father- it's- oh Jared."_

_"Mom? What is it? What's wrong?" Jared pushed up off the bed, digging hands roughly up through his hair. "What happened to Dad?"_

_"He's gone, baby. He had a- he had a heart attack and I- there's nothing I could- it all happened so- so fast."_

_"Gone?" There were tears streaming down his cheeks and the version of him on the bed instantly moved forward, eyes full of worry. "Mom... Dad is... is he dead?"_

_"I'm so sorry baby, I'm so, so sorry."_

Jensen's knees gave out as he was the room faded and shifted, overwhelmed by the grief and agony lingering from the vision. He'd never felt such an all-consuming swell of heart wrenching pain, not even when he'd learned of the loss of his own father. 

"Jensen! Jen!" Jared's arm was firm around Jensen's waist, holding him up, his eyes full of concern. "Hey, you with me?"

"Oh my god." Jensen stared for a long moment as he tried to pull himself the rest of the way from the vision. There was warmth and concern and none of that agony in Jared's face now and it was nearly too much. How could he handle knowing what horrible thing was in Jared's future and not say anything? Jensen pushed away, stumbling back and grasping through thin air like his cane might magically appear. But he'd dropped it during the vision and Jensen's hands windmilled as he began to fall. 

Once again Jared was _right there_ , tugging Jensen flush against his body, the worry doubled on his features. "What's going on?"

Just to the side of Jared, Jensen could see Katie looking just as concerned and panic began to rise in his chest. There was nothing about this vision he could handle - not knowing about Jared losing his father, in such a horrible and shocking way. Or knowing that somehow, not too far down the line, they would be cuddled up like lovers in bed sharing inside jokes and late night whatevers.

"I'm... I'm so sorry," Jensen whispered and pulled free from the arm across his waist, fumbling down to pull up his cane and quickly hurry forward. His leg was aching, his heart felt like someone was squeezing it tightly between a clenched fist and tears were beginning to prick along his eyes. 

"Jensen?" Jared whispered and Jensen knew he was reaching out to touch but he fell short, Jensen felt just the whisper of a fabric rustle as the fingers fell passed. 

"I need... I need Chad. Please. Please call him." Not waiting for an answer, Jensen pushed forward and climbed up the stairs, trying to keep from shaking. 

Once the door was closed behind him, Jensen crossed to his bed and dropped down on the mattress, trying to forget the image of Jared laying there with him. Because the last thing he needed was to get turned on while struggling with how to tell Jared his entire life was about to fall apart.

-===-

The soft tap on wood pulled Jensen from his thoughts - which featured a constant stream of his vision playing over and over like a horrible silent film on repeat. The look of adoration on Jensen's face as Jared pressed closer, the way their skin brushed and burned together, the easy warm and familiar smile on Jared's lips. Then, the look of shock as he answered the phone, the barely there moment of disbelief followed quickly by the world shattering agony. Like someone had just taken everything Jared held dear and tore it away.

Jensen didn't know about Jared's relationship with his father - just like he didn't really know anything about Jared - but it was clear they had to be pretty close. 

"Hey, Jen? You in there?" Jared's voice called through his door followed by a barely audible sigh. "Is everything okay?"

"Is Chad here?" Jensen asked instead of answering any of the questions. He still wasn't even sure if he could talk to Jared yet, now without blurting out the whole truth of the vision. Then Jared would think he was insane and probably try to get him admitted somewhere, or he'd just leave and Jensen would never see him again. 

Maybe Jensen wasn't ready to accept the idea of them getting involved - because knowing parts of his own future was weirdly disconcerting - but he wasn't ready for Jared to just be gone either. 

"Will you let me in? So we can talk?" Jared didn't sound annoyed - like Jensen was sure Chad would - just patient and caring like always.

The man was too good to deserve the upcoming blow. "It's open," Jensen finally murmured, ducking his head down because he thought it might be easier not to see Jared's face. 

"Chad has to work until four but he promised to come over after that. You still feel like going out? We could take a walk, kill some time until he can come over." Jared spoke quietly once he'd opened the door, leaning against the frame easily.

A good deal of Jensen didn't want to go out with Jared and not just because of his fear of crowds - how would he resist telling? But another part, just as equally pressing, kept picturing how wrecked Jared looked when he learned the news and Jensen felt like he had to comfort the man. Even if it hadn't happened yet.

"What about Katie?" He asked as he slowly stood, reaching out for the cane leaning on the nightstand. 

"She went home. She needs to be with her family now." Jared turned away for a moment and Jensen was compelled by the sudden urge to rush forward and tug him in for a hug. It wasn't like he had an excuse _not_ to touch now, he used up his one vision quota. "She said bye though. And mentioned that you were a bit of a spaz. Which... she wasn't wrong."

Jensen managed a faint laugh as he moved to slip into his shoes. Guilt and sadness were eating away at him but Jensen forced the thoughts away. For now, he would take the time to give Jared a chance. And maybe, once he'd spoken with Chad, he would know how to fix this vision just like he had done before.

-===-

The crowd was constant and big, swarming down the sidewalk and across the streets, weaving around the center, and Jensen was frozen for a long minute just outside the passenger door. Why he thought this would be a good idea was beyond him. Except it seemed to be making Jared happy and that helped in erasing that _pained_ look that kept flashing across Jensen's vision whenever his eyes closed.

"I promise not to leave your side," Jared said softly from his side, grinning when Jensen tilted his head up for their gazes to meet. "Think of me as your personal body guard."

Great. Now Jared could be Jensen's personal body guard and save him from all the nasty crowds and in return Jensen would deliver Jared the news that his dad was going to die of a heart attack. Jensen was a horrible human being. God, if he could learn to shut up his internal monologue that would be fan-fucking-tastic. Also, it would probably keep Jared from getting that soft, fond little smile he always seemed to wear whenever Jensen got a little carried away with his thoughts. Like now.

"Stop smiling at me like that, it's creeping me out," Jensen huffed and curled his fingers tight around the top of his cane, pushing his way through the crowd though he wasn't entirely sure he was ready yet.

The city center hadn't changed much from Jensen's memories, a few of the shops looked different but then he couldn't remember the last time he'd actually just browsed through the area. A shoulder brushed against his and Jensen glanced over at Jared who was glancing around the crowd with pursed lips. 

For just a moment Jensen wondered if he'd offended the man but Jared never seemed put out by anything Jensen said - no matter how rude - and why would it matter to him anyway? It wasn't like Jensen had taken any time to really get to know the man he'd been living with for the last two weeks. 

How the hell did they get to _being together_ like he'd seen if Jared was apparently better off single? Was it possible that Jensen's vision had just been some horrible mistake? For all Jensen knew, Jared didn't even _like_ guys. It wasn't like he'd shown any particular interest in Jensen.

They might as well be strangers - though Jensen had seen a good deal of Jared's bare skin - and he didn't know how to change that. 

"Why aren't you dating Katie?" Jensen blurted out the question, figuring it was as good a place to start as any. And it definitely wasn't at all suggestive about his vision.

Jared glanced his way, bemused, before shrugging and clearing his throat. "Would be awkward I guess."

"Why awkward? You seemed plenty close." Jensen knew that most people - normal people - had social skills that involved normal conversations - like getting to know someone and working your way up to challenging questions. Apparently - and obviously - Jensen was not normal.

"Well..." Jared blew out a shaky breath and carded fingers through that damn gorgeous hair before finishing, "I dated her brother. So. Awkward."

Okay, well, Jensen honestly should have seen that one coming. He was a craptastic psychic. So maybe he'd known Jared was into guys but relationships... they'd covered Jared's complete lack of them. Maybe Katie's brother was the reason why.

"The one who died?" Again, with the tact, Jensen was impressing himself with his lack of it.

Jared stopped walking and turned to face him, smile fading slightly as he nodded. "The one who died. He's been sick for a long time. He had AIDS."

The way Jensen's heart skipped a beat and threatened to implode actually hurt. He turned slowly to face Jared, eyeing him as if he could someone read his mind and learn what more there was to the story. Like, was Jared sick too? Was Jared in love with that boy who just died? Damn, why couldn't Jensen have picked up telepathic abilities with his visions?

It seemed like all this death was surrounding Jared. Katie's brother, his Dad in the near future, maybe it was some giant hint. _Maybe_ Jared's entire life was just measured on some short fuse that was counting down like a bomb about to explode.

"I don't have it," Jared finally added when Jensen just continued to stare. "We weren't... it was a long time ago, when I dated him, before he got sick."

Or, maybe, Jensen should really stop thinking so much.

His lips twitched in a soft smile as he looked down at the ground then sighed, shaking his head. He tried to add up the numbers, determine when Jared could have been with Katie's brother and how much it might have affected the man. "Were you two... were you serious?"

"We were five. So, you know. Completely serious until he stepped on my Spiderman." Jared slowly grinned but the action faded just as quickly. "We've known- we knew each other a long time."

All these stupid thoughts Jensen had been stumbling over disappeared, leaving him feeling like an ass all over again. Jared look crushed and Jensen was pretty sure he'd been trying his best not to think about the friend he'd lost. And he had no idea what was to come. Guilt - and maybe the desire to prove he wasn't a _complete_ asshole - had him reaching out and squeezing Jared's arm reassuringly. "Jared... I'm so sorry. I can't imagine losing someone like that."

"Only you can, can't you." Jared smiled once more and shrugged again, laying his hand over Jensen's and squeezing. "I've read your file Jen. I know just who you've lost."

Jensen knew Jared wasn't trying to be hurtful or cold but the words hit him like a knife in the heart. Sure, he'd lost his mom and that had been painful but then he spent years in a coma and all those feelings from before were muted. Even losing his Dad, it was nothing compared to what Jared was going to go through. 

He sucked in a quick breath and pulled his hand away, turning from Jared and starting through the crowd again. "I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind."

"I'm sorry Jen I-"

Whatever else Jared had to say was drowned out as he reached out to grab Jensen - who instantly jerked back and snatched the nearest stable thing. Which happened to, of course, be a person walking past. 

_"Excuse me!" The woman jerked back and Jensen stumbled. He had a strange feeling of being in two places at once, like he was there and blurring._

_Two sets of eyes for just a moment, two noses, twice the amount of freckles. It felt like the world was tilting and mixing in an odd kaleidoscope._

_"Jensen? What's the matter? Are you okay?"_

_"God, how rude," the woman snapped and turned, pushing away and through the crowd._

_Jared's hands were sliding over the strange mixture of two of him as he struggled to keep from falling. A second later tires were screeching, a scream was echoing out, and Jensen fell back against Jared's chest just as the crowd parted._

_The woman was sprawled out on the sidewalk, body disfigured, blood pooling around her. "Oh my god," Jared gasped out from behind him and the two parts of Jensen shuddered and formed into one._

"Excuse me!"

Jensen stumbled hard a few steps back, sucking in a surprised breath. He felt like he was reeling from one too many blows and like he'd stumbled on a very strange case of déjà vu. 

"Oh god," he whispered, staring at the woman in shock. When he blinked he saw her lying lifeless on the ground in a pool of blood, when he blinked again she was glaring at him and Jared was gripping his arms tightly.

"Jensen? What's the matter? Are you okay?"

"God, how rude."

The woman turned to push through the crowd and Jensen sucked in a quick breath. "Jared. Jared! Stop her!"

"What? Jen, are you-" Jared turned Jensen, frowning down at him.

Jensen didn't have times for questions, not when any second this woman would be literally walking into her death. He shoved hard at Jared, not caring about the way he stumbled back as long as he got Jared closer to the street. "Go! Stop her! Now!"

Jared blinked at him for just a moment then, for whatever the reason chose to trust Jensen and spun around. He hurried across the sidewalk and even as Jensen stumbled back to fall against the wall he was able to see as Jared reached the woman. Tires screeched and people turned to look as Jared pulled the woman back in time to just barely miss the car speeding past.

The bustle of the crowd picked up again and Jensen slumped back in relief against the wall, closing his eyes and blowing out a shaky breath. That was the closest call he'd ever had. In two weeks he hadn't had a single vision and in the last twenty four hours he'd had three that shook him to his core. 

"How did you know that was going to happen?" Jared asked, his voice shaking just slightly as he stepped closer to Jensen.

Jensen forced his eyes open and fought against the swell of panic rising up in his chest. "I need to get out of here. I need to get home. Please. Please take me home."

"Okay. Okay Jensen, we'll get you home." Jared pulled him away from the wall, guiding him through the crowd. But Jensen couldn't handle the _close_ , not then, not after everything he was struggling with.

Even as Jared attempted to tug him closer Jensen broke away, spinning until he could see the parking lot. He pushed through people, keeping his hands tucked close to keep from touching anyone else. He needed to get home, get somewhere safe, and then he needed Chad because his thoughts were absolutely reeling and he had to talk to _someone_.

The passenger door was thankfully unlocked and Jensen slipped quickly inside, folding himself up as much as possible. Jared joined him a few minutes later, turning the car on but keeping his gaze fixed on Jensen. The longer he continued to stare the hotter Jensen's cheeks grew and his heart literally felt like it was about to explode out his throat.

"What?" He finally snapped, giving Jared his best scowl. "What are you waiting for? Get us fucking out of here."

Jared's mouth fell open then snapped closed and he turned, staring out the windshield. He remained silent for the entire drive home but Jensen was too busy trying not to see Katie's crushed face at the loss of her brother, Jared's agony at the loss of his dad, and that women surrounded by blood to really give it much thought.

-===-

As the doorbell echoed through the house Jensen blew out a relieved breath and took off, limping as quickly as he could down the hall to the stairs. Jared was already opening the door and before either man could say anything he was calling out, "Chad. Thank fucking god. Took you long enough."

Chad stared at Jared for a beat then turned, watching as Jensen headed down the stairs at a much slower rate. "Well I'm so sorry my _Queen_. Some of us actually have to work for a living."

"And what would you know of work?" Jared asked with a faint laugh. 

Jensen glanced his way and felt that already familiar heart clenching guilt and pain on the man's behalf. Jared hadn't really spoken to him in the few hours they'd been home but then, Jensen had been hiding. Every time he tried to begin analyzing the steady repeat of visions he felt like bursting into tears, his mind was kind of on overload at the moment. Just seeing the barely there hint of a smile on his lips made him feel the stab of pain in his chest.

"Listen, Jared..." Jensen sighed and looked away, coming to stop at the base of the stairs. "I need to talk to Chad in, um, in private. Do you think you could go do... something else, for a while?"

This time the smile fell completely from his lips and Jensen felt that pang of guilt with a brand new sharpness. It seemed like being an asshole was just his default mode now. "Yes, Sir. I'll just go clean the upstairs like a good man servant."

Jensen flinched, apology on the tip of his tongue but Jared was already heading up the stairs and it seemed like all the words he knew had vanished. "Damnit."

"You're a genuine piece of work douche bag," Chad grunted and slung his bag to the side, making his way to Jensen's kitchen as if he'd been there far more often than the one time he had actually come over. 

It wasn't that big of a surprise and Jensen simply followed, rolling his lips together to keep from exploding into details about the onslaught of visions he had. As it was he felt like he someone had set the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Chad, no matter how infuriating he could be, knew him well enough by now to spot the look on his face. He set the milk carton - that he'd been drinking straight from - down on the counter and dragged the back of his hand over his mouth. "What's happened? What did you see?"

"What the fuck _haven't_ I seen?" Jensen snapped, tapping his cane over and over onto the ground as he let the words tumble up. "First Jared's offering a massage and I nearly lose it then I take off and Katie's suddenly there and I see her sobbing because her brother's died and I can't-"

"Jenny, hey, you're gonna have to breathe and slow it down a few notches if you want my help." Chad placed a hand on Jensen's, squeezing and pressing down to keep the cane tapping from starting all over again. "Now, try it again. Katie's brother died? Man, that's horrible, how'd Jared take it?"

Jensen blinked up at his friend, considering being annoyed because Chad had obviously known about Katie's brother and Jared but failed to mention anything. But well, Jensen supposed Jared could have easily not mentioned a relationship he'd had when he was five and now was really not the time or the place. 

"You saw something big didn't you?" Chad asked quietly when Jensen continued to zone out. "Something more than Katie being upset? Was it with Jared?"

"I. Well. I. Yeah. Yes. It was, one of them. There were two, after the one with Katie." Jensen leaned hard against the counter and ducked his head down, trying to separate the visions out in his mind. "There was one, out in the city center, which was really fucking weird because it was like there were two me's and it happened literally seconds after the vision. The woman almost got hit by a car, in my vision she did but after my vision I got Jared to save her which is really awesome of course and-"

"Jensen, newsflash, I am not gay nor interested in you therefore this adorable little rambling thing you've got going on? I just find it annoying. Can you get to the point?" Chad huffed, picking through the fridge for something to eat.

Why Jensen had thought Chad might actually _help_ him without giving him shit about everything first, he didn't know. Chances were, Chad was completely getting off on giving Jensen a hard time and he was going to get a sick thrill out of dropping the bomb on him. "I saw Jared's Dad die."

The pack of ham Chad was holding fell from his hands and Jensen slowly looked up, watching the man turn to face him, his eyes wide. "What?"

"Well, I didn't _see_ him die, I saw Jared receive the news that he had." Jensen exhaled shakily and bit down on his lip, not really getting any more of that thrill from making Chad take him seriously. The man looked as crushed as Jared had been in his vision. "Chad? What do I do?"

"Can it be stopped?" Chad asked in a whisper, slowly closing the fridge and stepping toward Jensen. "Can you keep it from happening?"

Jensen was a little shocked by the tears shining in Chad's eyes. He really hadn't expected that from the blond who was crass and rude more often than not. Swallowing thickly, Jensen slowly shook his head. "It was a heart attack. It was sudden and, and I don't think there's anything that could possibly be done to stop it."

"When? When will it happen?" Chad dropped hard down onto the stool under the counter, fingers rubbing over his eyes. 

"Chad? Are you okay?" Jensen stepped closer, completely thrown by the heavy sadness weighing on Chad.

"I- _damnit_. These visions, you should be able to fix them, to stop it, and when you can't, like with Sandy... it wasn't a death. It was sad and horrible but she's better now without that douche. This is- Gerry, Mr. Padalecki, he's a great man. When school would get to be too much they always let me stay there, he'd sit up and talk with me, his time shouldn't be cut off like this." Chad sighed shakily, wiping the tears from his eyes and turning his gaze finally to Jensen. "Poor Jared. This is gonna hurt."

"I know. And god, I barely know him, but in my vision we were..." Jensen trailed off, not wanting to give Chad all the details. Judging from the way Chad's brows rose, Jensen didn't need to. "Let's just say, we definitely knew a lot more about each other. But I don't know how we'll get there, when I tell him it'll be a miracle if he doesn't hate me forever."

"What? Tell him?" Chad sat up suddenly, hand slapping hard down on the counter. "You can't fucking tell him. You can't even hint that you might know something. So get that fucking insane thought out of your mind."

Jensen straightened up and took a step back, surprised by the sudden force of Chad's words. "What do you mean I can't tell him? Why wouldn't I? He deserves to know what's coming."

"Why? So he can sit around every day waiting for his mom to call him and tell him his dad is dead? Because I know Jared and he will do every fucking thing in his power to fix his dad and that won't ever work will it? Assuming that he believes you in the first place and doesn't lock you up in a fucking nut house. I mean, shit Jen, do you even realize how crazy you'll sound?"

It wasn't like Jensen didn't know just how insane the visions made him sound but he had been counting on Chad helping him figure out the best way to tell Jared. He'd never once considered it a secret he would have to keep. "That's- I can't do that. I can't _not_ tell him. He lives in my house. He's my- we're..."

"You're what? You're nothing Jensen. I mean, besides your obvious fucking crush on him it's not like you guys are really _anything_." Chad crossed to him even as Jensen scoffed and slid back like he was offended - which he probably had no right to be. "Look, I'm not saying this to be an ass but I need you to take a step back and really _think_ about this."

Jensen frowned and slid his arms over his chest, peering down at the ground as he tried to understand just what Chad was trying to tell him. "I am thinking about it. What if Jared finds out I knew? He'd hate me."

"This isn't something he can ever find out. Jen, think about it, why do you get these visions?" Chad reached out to grab his arm, squeezing until Jensen looked up at him with arched brows. "You get them so you can help, stop something, _be there_ for someone. There's nothing about this situation you can fix but you can be there for Jared. When he's told... when his mom calls, you need to be there to pick up the pieces. You saw what you saw because you needed something to help you get your head out of your ass and learn to _be_ with Jared, so you can help him."

"That's- no. That's too much. I can't just... how am I supposed to help him when I _know_? What happens if he falls for me or if I fall for him, and then the truth comes out? How the hell will I handle that?" Jensen groaned and stepped out of Chad's touch. "And it's not just keeping this vision secret from him. It's keeping all the visions secret. How do I have a relationship with that between us?"

"Look, I can't stop you from telling Jared but I beg of you to think it through. Let Jared enjoy the time he has left with his dad without waiting for the inevitable end. It's the way life goes Jensen, there are just some things you can't control." Chad's fingers slid back through his hair and Jensen stared long enough to realize just how serious the man was.

And, the real kicker was, Chad was absolutely right. If Jensen told Jared what was going to come, it couldn't possibly go well. And if Jensen somehow ruined the last of Jared's time with his father just because he couldn't keep a secret? God, Jensen would be beyond an asshole. "Damnit. What is the point of these fucking visions if I can't magically fix everything?"

"Visions?" 

Jensen jerked back from Chad and spun quickly, staring wide eyed over at Jared standing in the entrance of the kitchen. Of all the times for Jared to walk in, this wasn't the absolute worst but it was pretty high up there. He blinked a few times and looked from Jared to Chad and back again. "Um... what?"

"Did you just say you get visions?" Jared stepped further into the kitchen, frown deepening on his lips. 

Panic shot up through Jensen and he quickly shook his head, mind reeling with all the possible excuses and explanations he could use. "No I- it was just-"

"Don't worry about it Jay, man, we were just talking some things out." Chad interrupted Jensen's fumbling smoothly, crossing around the counter and stooping down to snatch up the dropped ham. 

"Talking things out? About these visions you apparently don't have?" Jared went from looking confused to looking skeptical, lips pursed together, eyes narrowing. 

"There are no visions." Jensen snapped, glaring at Jared. He didn't want to automatically fall back into the asshole routine - especially when they'd just discussed how he needed to be there for Jared - but he needed the man to back off. 

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure I heard-"

"Look, you don't even fucking know me, so don't start acting like you're _entitled_ to any information about me." Jensen brushed hard past Jared, leaning heavily on his cane as he headed up the stairs. 

Fleeing the room when things got tough was really turning into an Olympic sport for Jensen. But he was right, Jared didn't know him, and this was his secret to keep. It was safer behind his bedroom door.


	3. Chapter 3

It surprised Jensen that Jared left him alone for the evening and - outside Chad knocking to say goodbye - Jensen stayed hidden behind closed doors until the following morning. Every time he closed his eyes he was caught up in images of the woman flying through the air, or Jared’s sudden pain, or Katie's anguished cries. It was enough to make Jensen want to hide away and never face the world ever again.

Eventually the low churn of his stomach was too much to ignore though so he slowly inched his way down the hall, praying there wasn't some ambush waiting for him in the kitchen. He didn't want more questions that he wasn't ready to answer.

The kitchen, however, was empty and Jensen rationalized that being disappointed was ridiculous. He'd be lucky if Jared was still even _there_. He probably moved out and was already telling everyone what an asshole Jensen was and how he might also be a little bit on the insane side. And who could blame him?

"Twenty six."

Jared's voice startled Jensen, causing him to jump and spin from the coffee pot he'd been staring absently at. The man was - mercifully - dressed in worn jeans and a shirt which was much better than his usual lack of clothing. Though Jensen missed getting the eyeful. Honestly, the amount of contradictions in Jensen's mind was getting a little pathetic.

"Excuse me?" He asked when Jared didn't elaborate.

"I'm twenty six years old. I have an older brother and a younger sister, two kick ass parents, and I was born and raised here. I'm single and I have been for a while. Oh and I'm gay." Jared shrugged and crossed the kitchen, opening the fridge to pull out some eggs. "I figure you were right yesterday, when you said I don't know you. And we should change that."

Jensen tried not to flinch at the _two kick ass parents_ thing and blinked, stepping out of the way when Jared headed his way to start cooking. "I'm gay too."

Jared paused and looked his way, laughing softly. "Yeah Jen, I know. I read your file, remember?"

"Oh, right. So you know about Riley then." Jensen glanced down, waiting for the familiar twinge of pain that came whenever he thought of his ex. When it didn't happen he looked back up, surprised. Maybe he really was over his ex. Maybe his thoughts were just too full up of Jared.

"So what do you say? Are we going to spend some time getting to really know one another? I think it's really about time." Jared smiled softly at him and Jensen was honestly surprised there were no questions about what he had overheard the night before. 

For a long few moments Jensen considered if he could do this, keep the secret from Jared and become his friend. Maybe become more. He needed to stop thinking about it, stop dwelling on what he couldn't change and be there for Jared. Jensen could do that, he had to, and Jared deserved that at least.

So with a slowly growing smile, Jensen made a vow to stop being an asshole and give Jared a chance like he'd really always wanted to anyway. "Yeah. I'd like that."

-===-

For the past two weeks Jensen had been so consumed with going out of his way to not have any encounters with Jared that he hadn't stopped to really consider that he might actually genuinely like the man. It had been all about trying not to drool over Jared's often shirtless body, not touching him and sparking some vision, doing all in his power not to think of him in _that_ way. And now Jensen didn't really have that to worry about.

Though that didn't necessarily make it any easier.

It wasn't like Jensen was going out of his way to touch Jared but - as he learned over the following few days - it was kind of impossible not to once you'd opened up at all to the man. Jared was just one of those physically reassuring people, the kind that would touch your arm when leaving a room or stand only a few inches away when walking through a grocery store. Jensen was sure Jared behaved that way with everyone but some touch hungry little part of him liked to pretend Jared was just being protective. 

Before Jensen had been so busy avoiding Jared because he was scared, then avoiding him because he had such a huge glaring secret, so when he finally gave the man a chance Jensen was a little shocked by how genuinely amazing Jared was. Jared had a fantastic sense of humor - sometimes telling jokes that rivaled Chad's in their sheer level of dirty - and a naturally sweet nature. He sat and listened, giving Jensen his complete focus, as Jensen told about his mother and how much he'd loved her and how much it hurt to not have her around any longer. 

It made him feel just a little guilty, bringing up his parents, but Jensen thought maybe this was one of the few ways he could help Jared.

"What about you? Are you close with your parents? You mentioned before that they were uh, kick ass?" Jensen leaned back from the table. They'd been going out a lot over the last week, getting to know the superficial things about each other while re-introducing Jensen to the world once more. For some reason Jensen found it easier to _get to know_ Jared in somewhere that wasn't his home.

Mostly because Jensen just kept thinking about them collapsing into his bed together and Jared had that horrible - wonderful - tendency to not wear a lot of clothing.

"Yeah, god, my parents are fantastic. I know some people think it's lame but like, my mom? She's my best friend. And my dad is the one person I can count on to give me the best advice. They're still madly in love with each other and sometimes that makes me want to gag but it also makes me want that kind of love. I can't imagine one without the other." Jared was beaming as he finished speaking, shifting forward as if he couldn't imagine discussing anything better.

For just a moment Jensen found himself nearly spilling the entire truth of the vision. Because, _god_ , this wasn't just going to kill Jared. It was going to destroy his entire family. But then he remembered there was nothing he could do to stop a sudden heart attack from happening and well... 

"Did that sound really lame? Sorry. My family... we’re just all really close is all." Jared ducked his head down to hide his blush and Jensen swallowed the lump in his throat.

"It doesn't sound lame. I just... can't imagine having that kind of relationship with my parents. I mean, before they passed away." Jensen shrugged and glanced up, watching sympathy cross Jared's face. Before the man could say anything more Jensen hurriedly continued on. "Do you see them a lot? Your parents? Seems like you don't take days off for that kind of thing often."

"Yeah well, you know, life gets busy and all. But we talk every other day at least." Jared swiped his thumb over the edge of his plate, bringing it up to suck the liquid off a moment later.

Jensen could feel his heart pick up speed before he quickly dropped his gaze, praying the flush on his cheeks wasn't glaringly obvious. "You should go see them. Spend more time with them." Glancing back up, Jensen watched as Jared's brow furrowed and he quickly continued. "Like you said, life gets busy, it goes fast, you never know when something might happen. Just think you should take some time enjoying what you have after all."

"Oh, god, I'm sorry Jensen. That must have- all that must sound so tactless, after you lost your parents and everything. I'm really sorry." Jared reached out to take Jensen's hand, thumb rubbing his skin softly and god that touch really was amazing. 

"No I- it's not that, don't worry. I was just saying." Jensen shrugged, smiling shyly at Jared as he slipped his hand free and grasped the edge of his plate.

"Are you done with this sir?" The waitress stepped up to their table, smiling down at them.

"Oh, yes, thank you." Jensen nodded, pulling his hand back as the waitress reached out. Their hands brushed and just like it always did, everything faded, taking over before Jensen even had time to realize their skin was in contact.

_She stared down at the paper in her hands, unfolding it to expose the worn creases - clearly this letter had been opened many times before. The front door shut loud enough to echo through the front hall and a man called out for her, his tone excited and bright._

_"Longest business trip ever. Hey, babe, you okay?" The man stopped in the doorway of the kitchen where she sat, laying his palms flat over the paper._

_A shaky smile grew on her lips, her breath hitching as she pushed up to her feet. "I wanted to tell you in person, not on the phone. I... Nick, I went to the doctor's yesterday. It's finally happened. I'm pregnant."_

_The grin that exploded across Nick's face seemed to make the room light up. In the next moment he was sweeping forward and tugging the girl close, her laughter filled with tears of excitement and joy._

"Congratulations," Jensen said without thought as the vision faded, leaving him with the lingering wave of happiness and joy that he rarely felt after a vision.

The waitress blinked down at him, small smile on her face. "Sir?"

"You're pregnant." Jensen glanced toward Jared - whose eyes widened at Jensen's simple statement. He swallowed a laugh when Jared's eyes snapped down to the waitress's thin waist.

"I... how did you know that? I just found out... I haven't even told anyone." The waitress looked between them both, stepping back from the table.

Jensen's mind reeled and he glanced toward Jared - who still looked shocked about the entire thing - before clearing his throat. "Well um, you just, have that glow about you. I'm good at picking up on things like that. Anyway, just, uh, congratulations."

"Well, thank you." She gave him a little bit brighter smile before carrying their plates away.

"Is that your super power?" Jared asked once she'd disappeared with the plates. "You can tell when women are pregnant? Is that what your visions are all about?"

"That- god, that would be the lamest super power ever." Jensen laughed weakly and rubbed at his brow. He didn't know how to explain this and well, this time there would be no running away. "It's just... a thing I can do. It's no big deal."

"Yeah, predicting the future, no big deal." Jared snorted and sat back in his seat, considering Jensen with a strong gaze. "You can tell me, Jensen, or not, it's okay. But if you haven't learned by now, I'm not the type to judge. I'm not gonna freak out at you."

"Really? Because it really seems like this is the type of situation where freaking out is the expected reaction." It didn't make sense that Jared would believe him and accept this, unless he didn't believe Jensen and was just going along with his crazy whims because of him being his boss or something. That seemed likely. And well, Jared was a pretty nice guy after all.

The grin Jared gave him was a little too knowing. "Maybe you haven't noticed but, I am pretty damn awesome. And working for Superman? That just makes me even _more_ awesome."

"I can't fly. And I am _obviously_ not invulnerable. Plus, there is no kryptonite. Therefore, I am not Superman." Jensen shook his head but his smile was steadily growing wider, the idea that Jared could possibly believe him about this vision made his heart warm. 

Having someone other than Chad to talk to about all this stuff, someone that was part of his daily life, that would really be excellent. As long as Jared didn't ask about the thing Jensen had seen when they'd first touched.

"Well then, I guess we'll have to give you a better name. How about the _Seer_?" Jared smirked, pushing up to stand as Jensen did. "The _Visionater_? Ohh the _Jensenic_ , like psychic, with Jensen in it."

So he wasn't entirely sure that Jared wasn't making fun of him - and wasn't convinced that Jared entirely believed him - but at least it was a start.

-===-

"I don't want to hear another word."

Jensen snapped his jaw shut, moments away from telling Chad just how Jared had draped an arm so casually over his shoulder as they watched a movie the night before. He hadn't even realized just how much he'd been talking about Jared during their phone call and Jensen was pretty sure he could _feel_ the heat of Chad's glare.

"Sorry. I guess I was um, gushing a bit huh?" Jensen blushed and rubbed at the back of his neck, ducking his head down and glancing toward the window.

Jared was outside mowing for likely the last time of the season. Naturally his shirt was off, tucked into his back pocket, and Jensen felt the heat crawling through him in a rush. He wasn't entirely sure how his thoughts had shifted so much from thinking Jared was just some unattainable hot guy to being _his_ but apparently he was ready for more.

"I swear to god Jenny, if you are jacking off right now I will drag you into town and make you touch _everyone._ What? You heard me!"

There was a very good chance the last bit of Chad's threat was overheard by whoever he was crossing paths with and Jensen's breath caught on a laugh. "You're the most disturbing person I know."

"Shut up bitch you love me. But obviously not as much as you _love_ Jared and his _glistening muscles_ ," Chad cackled in the most disturbing fashion Jensen had ever heard.

Jensen grinned and relaxed back into his chair, trying to keep his gaze from turning back to Jared who was just finishing mowing and was starting to _glisten_ just a little too much. "Yeah, whatever man. You think he really believes me? About the visions? Has he asked you about it?"

"We may have discussed it. I think he might believe, a little. But that's only because he doesn't want to think you're nuts. He's kinda into you, in case you hadn't noticed beyond staring at his shapely pecs."

"You would make a horrible gay man." Jensen grumbled then laughed, shaking his head to force his gaze away from the very distracting sight of Jared putting the mower away. "Okay so he doesn't really believe, but he could, possibly, and he doesn't think I'm nuts. And... he likes me. These are good things."

"What will you do if he asks? About the vision you had about him?" Chad asked in a whisper, his tone serious like it was the first time they'd discussed that particular vision.

"I won't tell him. I can't, I know that now more than ever. His parents, his dad, they mean the world to him. I just can't have him losing out on the time they have left. I even made him take last Sunday off to go spend time over there. He probably thought I was a little crazy but apparently that's nothing new." Jensen sighed, walking across the room to look in the mirror. "It's the right thing to do, right?"

"Yeah Jen, it's the right thing to do." Silence lingered after Chad's words as they accepted what keeping such a big lie from Jared would mean. Especially for Jensen's newly forming relationship. "It's definitely the right thing."

"Hey Jen, you want to take a dip in the pool?" Jared called from down the hall and Jensen's eyes instantly snapped open, the worry sliding off his shoulders.

"I've got to go Chad. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, have fun fuck-"

Jensen hung up before Chad could finish the thought which was really probably for the best.

-===-

A peaceful air had settled over the house and Jensen thought, even if nothing ever happened with Jared he'd be content just to have him around. Every day it felt like his leg was getting a little stronger and the house didn't feel so overwhelmingly sad as it had originally. There were still some rooms he couldn't go in - or wouldn't allow Jared to enter - but everything would happen with time.

He'd learned a lot about Jared over the last couple of weeks - now that he wasn't avoiding him like ridiculously attractive gay plague - and after over a month of the man living with him he felt confident that they'd found the perfect balance. As long as Jensen didn’t get lost in his thoughts too often. Or get too melancholy. Or as long as he had his coffee.

"Tell me something about you that no one knows," Jared asked during a commercial, not taking his eyes from the TV even as Jensen glanced over.

Wetting his lips, Jensen reclined back on the couch and dropped his hand between their thighs on the cushion. He'd been considering reaching out to take Jared's hand for the last half hour but he still had absolutely no idea if Jared was even interested. Well, he _knew_. There was what Chad had told him, and the lingering looks they sometimes shared, and he got the message that Jared was into guys, but they'd crossed a line. And Jensen couldn’t stop thinking about why Jared was apparently _better off single_.

They’d yet to cover that particular topic.

"That hard to think of something huh?" Jared chuckled and finally looked his way, letting his head drop back to rest on the couch cushion. "Come on Jen, you've got to have _loads_ of juicy secrets. Growing up in a wealthy family, only child, give it up."

There were plenty of stories Jensen could tell Jared, tales of his rebellious teenage years, the first boy he'd kissed hiding behind the storage lockers in his high school. But, for whatever the reason, the first real secret to pop into his mind was much sadder. "I was going to propose to Riley."

Jared's head slowly lifted and he turned on the couch, tucking a leg between them. The movie they'd been watching - that Jensen honestly wasn't paying attention too - returned and something loud exploded. Jared reached out for the remote and a moment later the room was cast into darkness.

In the time it took Jared to turn on a nearby lamp Jensen listened to the race of his pulse in his ears. He felt a little queasy, like just telling Jared about what had almost happened and that night would throw him back into another coma that would steal six more years of his life. Or maybe Jared would learn the truth and realize how very much he didn't want to be connected to someone like Jensen, who was obviously much more than a one night stand kind of guy.

"What happened?" Jared finally asked when the lamp was on and he was back to facing Jensen, small frown on his face. "You were going to but...?"

"I got so scared I went into a coma instead." Jensen shrugged, looking away from Jared because the intensity of his hazel eyes was too much, joking like that made it easier. "It was... that night. The night of my crash. Riley and I... we'd been fighting for a while because I wanted us to be out and he wasn't comfortable with that, he was worried his family would lose it. Things were on shaky ground and I wanted to fix it so I'd planned for a nice dinner, thought we could talk it out, I'd tell him how much he meant to me and ask him to marry me."

Jared sucked in a breath loud enough for Jensen to hear and reached out, laying his hand over Jensen's arm to squeeze softly. "God Jen..."

"You know what's the kicker though?" Jensen huffed a pained laugh, annoyed at the tears pricking at his eyes. He should be _over_ this. When he'd gotten some control over his emotions he turned to Jared and smiled sadly. "I know he wouldn't have said yes. I wasn't that guy for him; I wasn't worth the risks of losing his family. We were together for, god, for years and he kept it secret that entire time. But he's been with Tom... well I don't know how long exactly but he _was_ worth it. And they look so happy together."

"He brought Tom to meet you?" Jared scoffed and scooted closer, wrapping his arm around Jensen's shoulder and squeezing. "What a douche."

Jensen laughed louder this time, leaning into Jared much easier than he'd expected to. "No. It was... that was the first vision I had. Even though Riley was telling Tom I was awake in the vision, I could just _feel_ the love. Riley looks at him like he's the fucking sun and moon and he never... I was never anything close to that for him. I think I might have actually been a really bad boyfriend."

"Hey, stop it. That's- that can't be true. I refuse to believe it." Jared pulled back and smacked Jensen's arm. "I don't know what you were like six years ago but even when you're cranky pre-coffee or a nervous mess that over compensates by being an asshole, you're still a good guy. You make me laugh and... well, you don't want to hear me gush."

"No no, gush away." Jensen grinned as he turned to face Jared. "Man, what would you even know about it? You're better off single right?"

The smile fell from Jared's face and he dropped his hands to his lap, picking at the fray of jeans over his knee. "It's not like that. Or, it wasn't always that way. I was... well, I was engaged once. Ironically I guess."

Jensen blinked, taking a moment to absorb what seemed like a really big fact that Jared had left out when talking about his past. "You were? But I didn't... when was that? You've never said anything."

"Yeah I try not to talk about it." Jared sighed and dropped his head back once more, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Was a couple of years ago. I met this guy, David, and god I fell hard. He was one of those people who just made you feel like the center of his world, like everyone just rotated around this axis he created. I let him consume me, dropped out of school, moved into his place, ignored all my friends and family and just devoted my world to him."

Jensen had the horrible sinking feeling in his gut that he knew where this was going. Obviously their relationship hadn't ended well, since they weren't engaged any more, but it was more than that. Jensen could practically feel the pain radiating off Jared and he was the one to reach out this time and touch the man's arm. "What happened?"

Jared sat up and met Jensen's gaze, his own eyes filling rapidly with tears. "Came home from the store one day and he was with another guy. Guess it happens... and I was so stupid, giving everything up for him. I was pretty... I got pretty wrecked after that, nearly fucked up my entire life. But hey, I managed to sort things out, my parents helped out a lot. Chad too, believe it or not. I got back into school and now..."

"You're better off single?" Jensen suggested once more - with a lot more understanding - trying to balance the ache of his heart on Jared's behalf and the pressing fear that this was too much for him. He'd never cheat on Jared, he wasn't that type of person, but wasn't keeping a huge secret like he had just as bad? Or, would Jared see it that way?

And, apparently, Jensen had already mentally committed to wanting a _them_. It was like he'd fallen without even realizing it.

"I really meant that it's not like that." Jared bit at his lip - Jensen watched the flesh slide between his teeth though it was a little maddening - and shrugged. "That day, when I interrupted Katie and said that, I was just trying to keep her from saying I was gay. Because I didn't want you to know."

Jensen blinked and blinked again, dropping his hands on his lap and shifting back to turn away. "Oh. Okay. I see."

"Ugh. No, Jensen. No, you really don't see. Which is really fucking ironic Mr. Visionater."

The way Jared scoffed annoyed Jensen for some reason he couldn't name. He spun back to Jared, completely prepared to unleash the jackass fury he had mastered over his entire life, but he was cut off before the words could form on his tongue. Mainly because Jared's mouth was suddenly covering his, hands framing either side of his face and holding him close.

Jensen's heart lurched into overtime and he froze, his hands hovering in the air between their bodies uncertainty. It had been a long, long time – six and a half years or so – since Jensen had been kissed and part of him had thought it was never as good as he remembered. Turned out he was wrong, it was better. Jared lips were soft and silky and perfectly warm sliding against his. Long fingers stroking over his skin in the best kind of caress.

"Jared," Jensen gasped as their lips broke, the name spilling from him out of his control.

"Shh, it's okay. You want this, right?" Jared pressed slow kisses along his face, along the corner of his mouth, up over his jaw. "You want me?"

"Yes. Yeah. I do. I'm just... there's..." God, Jensen didn't even know how to begin explaining all this to Jared. Not without making him sound crazy.

Jared pulled back slightly, giving him a soft warm smile. "Not sure it's the best thing to do?"

Well, that wasn't exactly true but Jared didn't really need to know how much Jensen fought back and forth with this decision. Maybe some part of him didn't want to be hurt again. "I’m scared. Terrified, you know? That I could be hurt again or that you I could hurt you. I convinced myself you didn’t want that, or I tried to. And then I got to know you and I was even more scared because I could see - not literally but, you know - I could see myself falling for you and I didn't want to be burned again."

Or, maybe, he'd just spill everything. _Seriously_. 

"I would never do that to you." Jared shifted once more until he was nearly flush against Jensen's side, dipping in to gently brush a kiss along Jensen's neck. "Pretty sure you won't be hurting me either."

Jensen closed his eyes and swallowed thickly. He wished he could be as confident as Jared on that particular subject but the secrets didn't change. "Never on purpose. I will never hurt you on purpose, I promise."

All he could do was be there for Jared, whenever the man needed him, it was the only thing Jensen was absolutely sure of.

"Good. Then... let us _be_. Because I don't have to have super powers to see that we will be pretty damn awesome together." Jared chuckled softly, sliding his hand back through Jensen's hair. In that moment Jensen officially decided to forget about what he knew because he didn't want it changing their relationship before things had even before. Things would just be him and Jared now and nothing else.

And, for what felt like the first time in a long time, Jensen reached out with the clear purpose of laying his hand on Jared's arm. Over the last few months he'd gotten used to _not_ touching to avoid any visions. But now he could touch Jared as much as he wanted - and _god_ that was a lot - and not have to worry about any of that. Jensen suddenly wanted to touch Jared everywhere, right the fuck _now_.

Before Jared had even finished laughing Jensen sprung forward and tackled him back on the couch, crushing their lips hard together and spreading his legs to either side of Jared's ridiculous model-built frame. Jared's hair felt as silky smooth and wonderful beneath his fingers as Jensen knew it would and he tangled the locks, held on tighter and squeezed as his tongue plunged forward to taste the inside of Jared's mouth.

When Jared moaned into the kiss Jensen's hips jerked forward, the heat of his crotch rubbing up against Jared's in the most delicious friction filled slide. It was amazing enough to drag a loud moan from him as well and he broke from the kiss to suck in a much needed breath. Almost instantly Jared's lips were against his jaw, sliding down his neck, burning a path along his skin that made Jensen blow out the breath he'd just pulled in.

"Jen," Jared moaned against his neck, hips thrusting up against Jensen's in a near desperate roll. "We got- we've got plenty of time."

"Jared." Jensen sat back and blinked down at Jared, trying not to squirm any more than absolutely necessary - which basically meant a constant slow roll with that delicious friction. "I haven't had sex in six and a half years. I'd rather not wait if it's all the same to you."

A slow smirk grew across Jared's face and his arms slipped around Jensen's waist, body shifting forward until he stood. Jensen half squeaked and wrapped his legs tight around Jared's body, clinging to the man as Jared easily carried him out of the living room. "Damn, forgot about that. Guess that means you're almost like a virgin all over again huh?"

Jensen moaned once more and tangled his fingers in Jared's hair again, tugging hard enough the man's steps stumbled. "Considering I haven't even fingered myself open, I'd say it's pretty safe to say I'm going to be nice and tight for you."

In the next beat Jensen found himself pressed hard up against the wall, Jared's lips sealed over his, tongue exploring every inch of his mouth. Jensen moaned and squirmed until he could drop his feet down on the ground and tug sharply at Jared's shirt. He needed them naked and bare together, as soon as fucking possible.

"This is not," Jensen gasped and pulled back from the kiss, dropping his head back on the wall so Jared's lips could map over his neck. "Not my bedroom. Jared, god, come on."

"Will you always be this eager and needy?" Jared smirked against Jensen's neck and tucked his arms firmer under his ass, lifting him firmly off the ground and dragging him further down the hall.

He probably would but Jensen wasn't going to admit to that. The way Jared's lips burned into his skin was the absolute best thing and Jensen was breathless and panting by the time they actually made it into his bedroom. It was strange in a way, being here with Jared like this. Jensen could still remember the time in which he never thought he'd get over Riley, or when he figured he'd spend forever alone because who would want a crazy boyfriend like him?

Even if he'd been lusting after Jared from the moment he saw him and had had that vision where they were clearly together, Jensen had never _really_ thought they'd be together. The idea that they were going to _be_ , that Jensen could really have this, sent a sharp thrill of pleasure through him.

"How's your leg feeling?" Jared asked in a low murmur, massaging over Jensen's thigh with one hand while the other tugged and pulled at his fly.

Jensen leaned heavily into Jared, panting into his neck and closing his eyes. "Like I can feel anything below the ache in my gut."

Jared laughed softly and shoved hard at Jensen's pants, nearly lifting him once more and dragging him across the room to the bed. He fell back on the mattress with a bounce and blinked up at the man. Jensen had seen Jared shirtless more times than he could count but this was completely different. He watched Jared strip bare and it made everything in him tingle and spark in the most intense way. 

"You are so damn gorgeous," Jensen whispered in awe and fumbled out of the rest of his clothing. He was panting, shaking like a nervous virgin, and it would be ridiculous if he couldn't see just how aroused Jared was. Maybe the virgin thing was some kind of turn on for Jared. 

"Right back atcha." Jared laughed thickly and winked at Jensen before climbing across the bed, dragging his hands up Jensen's legs as he crawled forward. "Do you know how badly I want you?"

"I uh-" Jensen groaned and arched up as Jared's lips worked over his skin. "I might have a pretty good idea. Been wanting you since the moment I first saw you."

"Then why did you play hard to get for so damn long?" Jared grumbled against Jensen's throat and reached out to the side, tugging the drawer open. 

Jensen had no idea how Jared knew where he kept his lube - or how he even knew Jensen had lube for that matter - and he chose not to think too much about it. Instead his fingers combed through Jared's deliciously soft hair and his legs spread just a little wider. "Knew we'd end up here," he muttered and god, being outrageously turned on must have disconnected his brain to mouth filter because he really hadn't meant to say that. 

Jared pulled back a little, slicking his fingers with that still steady smirk, and Jensen's heart fluttered in the strangest way. "Oh really? Is that what you saw when you touched me?"

No no. They really couldn't go into this conversation, not now, not when Jensen was so close to having Jared's fingers in his body. Pushing up onto his elbows, Jensen strained forward to seal his lips over Jared's and instantly pull him closer. He all but forced Jared's finger up into his body and groaned into the kiss, rocking back onto the vaguely familiar burn of stretch. 

It worked as the distraction method he was going for. Jared instantly pushed forward, shoving Jensen back onto the bed and working his fingers forward. It was perfect, feeling Jared working him open and forgetting the real world for the first time since he woke from his coma. It was exactly what he needed, what he'd been longing for, and the way his heart was aching for Jared already more intense than he thought possible.

Their lips came together in gasped kisses, skin rocking and colliding, and by the time Jensen had adjusted to all three fingers stretching him open he was practically begging. "Come on. Need you in me. Stop wasting time."

Jared snorted into the kiss and pulled his fingers free. Jensen was more out of it than he realized - he had no idea where Jared got the condom from and just barely registered the tear of foil and the slick of latex - but everything sharpened with a perfect clarity when the man was right there, pushing up into him. Their eyes met and Jensen felt the rise and swell of all the things they'd been building on the last few weeks. 

Hell, even from the moment they met each other. 

No matter how awful some of Jensen's vision was regarding Jared, it had still included this amazing thing between them. As Jared slid all the way up into him Jensen entertained the - definitely idealized and romantic - notion that fate had all been leading up to this. They were meant to be together and everything was _bigger_ than what Jensen knew. 

Then Jared was pulling out and fucking forward and Jensen stopped trying to think. He ignored the ache in his leg and lifted both to wrap around his lover's waist, pulling the man close and rocking up to meet each thrust forward. Their bodies moved together with a natural ease, skin slick and gliding, lips whisper touching between each harsh pant. Jensen dug his fingers into Jared's hair and held tight, moaning out the man's name because it was all he could manage to say.

When, more than a dozen thrusts later, Jared's cock slammed up against his prostate Jensen wasn't prepared for the pleasure overload. Apparently going six and a half years without getting laid did things to his stamina and Jensen came embarrassingly fast, moaning loudly and arching up into Jared's sweat damp form.

"Oh fucking Christ," Jared groaned and sank his teeth into Jensen's neck, biting at the flesh. "That- so hot. Coming untouched. _Jesus_."

It surprised Jensen when Jared's hips stuttered a few thrusts later, his own release hitting with a deep moan exhaled against Jensen's neck. Jensen was thrilled more than he should be that he could be hot enough to drive Jared that crazy. 

"Didn't mean to hit so fast," Jensen muttered as Jared collapsing down onto him. Strong fingers curled over Jensen's thigh and massaged slowly, bringing a smile to Jensen's lips as he realized Jared was worried about his muscles being sore. 

"Shh, don't wanna think," Jared grunted, slowly pulling back from Jensen and shifting away to take care of the condom.

"But I mean, it was pretty lame. I'm not a blushing virgin." Jensen laughed softly and turned enough to watch Jared stride naked across his room to the bedroom. He could really be okay with the idea of them being together now, like this, and seeing Jared stroll around the house in all his naked glory. 

A few minutes later Jared was crawling back across the bed with a damp rag, smirk growing on his lips. "Well if you're worried about your precious image, I'm sure we could come up with a way for you to prove yourself worthy."

Jensen laughed and reached out to comb his fingers through Jared's hair. "Challenge accepted Mr. Padalecki."

-===-

Arms were secure and firm around his middle, holding him tight, and a smile pulled at Jensen's lips before his eyes even opened. His leg was sore and his whole body had that pleasant _thoroughly fucked_ hum that he'd never realized just how much he missed. Jensen moaned as he stretched out, pressing into the full length of Jared's body. "It is too early to be awake."

"Well maybe if someone hadn't kept me up until two in the morning," Jared snorted a laugh and inched a little closer, arms securing tight around Jensen's middle. 

Something nagged in the back of Jensen's mind but he was too pleasantly relaxed to really think about it. It was much easy to settle against Jared's body and press soft kisses over his skin. It was so natural being with Jared, Jensen didn't even have to question it. 

"That was entirely your fault. I take no respons-" Jensen cut off as Jared's cell phone started playing the original cast version of 'Slipping Through My Fingers' from the musical Mamma Mia and suddenly that nagging feeling was like a hard slap across his senses and he jerked up.

"Yeah I know, so gay of me, you really need better lines." Jared grinned over at Jensen then answered, lifting the device to his ear. "Hey Mom! How's-"

Jensen couldn't hear the other side of the conversation but he didn't need to. He knew exactly what was being said, could see the shock and confusion painting over Jared's face. It wasn't supposed to be today. 

In his vision they had seemed so comfortable, like they'd been together for months, years even, they were supposed to have more time. _Jared_ was supposed to have more time. 

"Mom? What is it? What's wrong? What happened to Dad?" Jared sank back onto the bed and Jensen slowly straightened up and slid across the mattress. He braced himself for what was to come, for Jared's gasped and soft and pained, "Gone? Mom... Dad is... is he dead?"

The sob that fell from Jared's lips made Jensen's heart clench in the worst way. He pushed quickly up to his feet and slid on a pair of sweats, hurrying over to Jared's side once more and curling an arm around his body. The man leaned into him and Jensen felt his resolve shake. 

Could he really be enough to comfort Jared through something so major? Jensen wasn't entirely sure he'd dealt with the loss of his own father before.

"Okay I- I'll be there soon- yeah. Love you Mom." Jared pulled the phone back and disconnected the line, dropping it down on the mattress. He leaned forward with a heavy sigh, digging hands up into his hair, and Jensen stroked slowly up his back. 

"I'm so sorry Jared," Jensen whispered and leaned forward to press his lips to Jared's shoulder. 

"I can't believe this," Jared gasped and spun, throwing his arms around Jensen and holding him tightly. "This wasn't supposed to happen. He's- he was too young. I can't-"

"I know, I know Jared I'm so sorry." Jensen tightened his arms around Jared, stroking his fingers up through the man's hair. It reminded him of the day his mom died, how his chest had literally ached with grief and all the words Riley kept muttering about being _sorry_ felt so trivial and pointless.

Jensen was suddenly desperate to make it better, to show Jared he could comfort him in the way he deserved.

"I know how bad it hurts. The shock. But he's in a better place now right?" Jensen slid back enough to see Jared's tear stained features, brushing fingers over his cheeks softly. "And, a heart attack, that's so fast, he probably didn't even feel much pain."

Jensen didn't even realize his mistake until Jared's body stiffened against his. His heart leaped up into his throat as the man pulled back the rest of the way and stared at Jensen, something dangerously dark behind his eyes. 

"I didn't say anything about a heart attack."

Swallowing thickly, Jensen ran his palm over his face and slid back. Five minutes ago they'd been laying in bed, comfortable and warm, just barely waking up, and Jensen had thought he could have this forever and be quite content. And now he could feel it slipping through his fingers, out of his control and he didn't know how to stop it. "Y-you said- I heard-"

"No. I didn't. You-" Jared stood and stumbled back a few steps, his eyes wide and fixed down on Jensen. "You fucking saw this."

"Jared..." Jensen whispered, tangling his fingers together and sucking in quick breaths. "It wasn't like that."

"Oh really? Then what the hell was it? You didn't see my dad dying?" Jared snapped then scoffed, turning quickly from Jensen and stooping down to snag up articles of clothing. "This is fucking insane. How could you keep something like that from me?"

"Like I could really tell you, god, I didn't even think you really believed me!" Jensen didn't mean to get defensive but this was never supposed to happen. He was supposed to be the one there comforting Jared, not on the receiving end of his anger. "Look this is all- it's not supposed to be like this. Please just sit down; you're dealing with a major shock."

"Yeah the shock that my fucking boyfriend didn't even tell me he knew my dad was going to die." Jared stepped angrily into his jeans and Jensen tried not to feel the flutter in his chest at the word _boyfriend_. Now was really not the time for that. "How long have you known?"

Well, there wasn't much point in lying now. Jensen apparently sucked at keeping a secret, good thing he wasn't a real superhero or his identity would be everyone's business. Ducking his head down, Jensen sighed and shifted uncomfortably back on the mattress. "The morning Katie was over. I asked if you wanted to go to the city center, my hand touched yours and I saw..."

"You saw him dying. _Jesus_. Do you realized how fucked up that is? How fucked up you sound? Did you watch him have a heart attack? Did you watch him _die_ Jensen?" Jared was back to pacing, tugging his shirt on quickly, digging a hand angrily through his hair. 

Jensen had felt fucked up plenty of times, whenever he had a vision really, but no one had ever accused him of it. Even when Chad thought he was a bit _out there_ he'd never been hurtful about that. "God, no. I watched us in bed, watched you get the phone call, that's all."

"That's all? Oh great so you knew we were going to be together before it even happened?" Jared stepped back and shook his head roughly. "I can't fucking deal with this right now. I have to get out of here, I have to get to my mom."

"Jared, please, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just needed- I just want to be there for you." Jensen stood and reached out for Jared, flinching when Jared jerked back from the touch. 

"You should have told me Jensen. It was my future; I had a right to know."

Jensen watched as Jared turned and walked out of the room. There should be something for him to say in this situation, some way to make it better, but it had never played out like this before. The only other person who knew about his visions had been given proof that saved his life and to Jared, this had to feel like nothing but a betrayal. 

By the time Jensen's mind managed to catch up with everything that had happened so suddenly, the front door was slamming loud enough to echo through the house. 

Even when he barely knew Jared, when he wasn't even sure they could be friends, he never really thought he'd end up alone. And sometimes it was all he wanted, the solitude, but now the silence was nothing but deafening.


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you okay?"

Jensen looked up from the pot of boiling water, heart lurching when - for just a moment - he thought it was Jared standing there in the doorway. But a beat later Chad was pulling his beanie off and Jensen stared at the mop of blond hair then turned away. "How did you get in?"

"The front door was unlocked." Chad stepped closer and leaned against the counter, looking around the kitchen slowly. "Jen..."

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this." Jensen wasn't even sure why he was boiling water any more. When he'd finally managed to work up the energy to head downstairs he was pretty sure it had something to do with hunger. 

Chad sighed and walked a little closer, laying his hand on Jensen's shoulder and guiding him away from the stove. "Are you hungry? Let me make you something."

"I thought we'd have more time you know? My vision lied to me. It seemed like months away..." Jensen allowed Chad to guide him into a chair, falling heavily down on the cushion. His leg was aching but he wasn't sure why - was it the night before, with Jared? Had it really only been a day since they were last together? It felt like longer. It felt like a lifetime. 

"Well it's not like they come with footnotes ever." Chad moved around the kitchen easily, helping himself to food even as he made Jensen something. "Jared's going to be okay Jensen. It's just going to take some time."

Jensen's head snapped up, his eyes wide as he pushed out of his seat - ignoring the ache in his leg and grasping his cane tightly. "You've spoken with him? He called you?"

"Megan called me, to tell me about Gerry. I went over there. Man, you can barely stand up, have you even eaten in the last three days?" Chad sighed again and walked swiftly over to Jensen once more. "Sit down idiot."

"Three days? Has it really been..." Maybe that was why it felt like Jared had been gone a lifetime. _Three days_ since the man had stormed out of his home and Jensen could barely remember the time passing. "I didn't realize how much time had passed."

"Jen? You're freaking me out dude and considering what I've seen you do, that's saying a lot." Chad huffed and turned back to making a sandwich once more. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know," Jensen whispered honestly and shrugged, dragging a hand down his face. Why did everything have to get so complicated? Once upon a time Jensen was pretty sure he knew every little thing about his life, he had all these plans and everything was supposed to be _easy_. 

And now all he felt was alone, empty, hollow. He had somehow fallen in love with this guy who would probably never forgive him and he couldn't even really be upset with said guy. Because it made sense, why Jared had run, and Jensen was pretty sure if the shoe had been on the other foot he would have done the same thing. Hell, he'd probably have been a lot meaner than Jared had been. 

"Did he ask about me?" Jensen asked in a quick exhale, hoping the question would somehow hurt less if he got it out fast. 

Chad paused for a moment, staring down at the sandwich and slowly shaking his head. "He's really dealing with a lot right now Jensen. The funeral... it's tomorrow you know."

"I want to go. I know he probably doesn't want me there but just for the support. Will you take me?" Jensen could probably drive himself, if need be, but his leg was so sore lately it was probably a stupid risk. 

Their gazes met for a long time and Jensen knew Chad was debating what the best route would be. He knew the reasons he shouldn't go but his entire being was longing for Jared And the truth was, he'd go whether Chad took him or not. 

"Okay. I'll come pick you up at eleven. Just try not to make a scene okay?" Chad set the sandwich down in front of Jensen, leaning hard against the counter. "And take a shower. You smell."

Jensen managed a weak smile and looked down at the sandwich. Even with all the circumstances, the idea of seeing Jared again was enough to make things just a little better. 

-===-

It was strange seeing Jared so clothed. 

Jensen wasn't entirely sure why that was the thing that stuck in his mind but it was all he could think about as he watched the family step up to the coffin one by one. The man's hair was tucked back behind his ears, body covered from neck to wrist to ankle in black, features pained just like Jensen knew they would be. They were miles apart but Jensen could feel the grief and agony coming off the man in waves. 

He lingered back from the gathering, far enough away no one would even notice him; he couldn't even hear what was said. Every time he tried to step closer it felt like the heavy weight of emotions was tangible, thick and heavy laying over him, like his visions had somehow given him the power to feel _everything_.

"Jensen?" The young woman at his side looked familiar in the vaguest sense and Jensen frowned as he looked over at her. "You're Jensen right?"

This was Jared's sister. Jensen remembered seeing a picture of her. He hadn't seen her leave the crowd and his eyes flickering back to the ceremony instinctively. It was easy to pinpoint Jared through the crowd, not quite as easy to hold his gaze when the man looked pointedly over at him. 

"It'll mean a lot to him that you came. No matter what happens between you two." Megan reached out, sliding their hands together before Jensen could even think about stopping her. 

_"Meg, you look so beautiful." Jared strode forward, stopping behind his sister in the mirror. "Most beautiful bride I've ever seen."_

_"You're just saying that." Megan blushed but grinned brightly at Jared in the mirror, leaning back into his touch. "Thank you for being here. For walking me down the aisle. Dad would... he'd be real proud of you, you know?"_

_"I like to think he would," Jared murmured and turned to press a kiss to her temple. "He'd be real proud of you too. I know it."_

_"Shh don't make me cry yet, I can't get married with mascara running down my cheeks." Megan laughed and turned away, wiping tears from under her eyes._

"Jensen?" The girl frowned up at him, hand squeezing his reassuringly.

"Sorry, I'm... it's okay. It's all going to be okay Megan." On an impulse Jensen stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the girl in a hug she likely didn't expect. It was the first vision he'd had in a while and the lingering warmth of love and happiness was a welcome relief from all the pain and grief of the last few days. 

"Um, thank you." Megan looked curiously up at him as she stepped back and away. "Do you want to go see him? Jared? I know he's... well I don't know what happened between you two but I'm sure he'd like to see you."

Jensen glanced up and over once more, in time to see Jared turn and walk in the opposite direction. His heart sank and he dropped his gaze, giving Megan a sad smile. "No. That's okay. I think it's probably better if I just give him some space. You should get back to your family."

"Are you okay? Should I send Chad over? He brought you here right?" Megan reached out to touch his arm, comforting and reassuring, and Jensen was hit with just how much she was like her brother. 

It made his heart ache in the worst kind of way and he gasped in a breath as he stepped back. "No, that's okay. I can make it home on my own. Thank you though."

Jensen turned to leave before the girl could say anything more, slipping his hands into his pockets just in case.

-===-

The company that had helped with hiring Jared for him called a week after Jared had left. They refused to say whether Jared had quit, was just taking a leave, or would ever return, but the way they offered another aide made Jensen feel tight and uncomfortable. He declined another aide - even if taking care of the house all by himself was overwhelming and his leg was protesting more and more each day - he just couldn't imagine having another person there in his house.

No one would ever compare to Jared, why bother trying?

Though, considering the way Chad kept scoffing every time Jensen paused to consider the right brand of pasta or bread for his healthy diet, Jensen was starting to question his decision. 

"It's fucking spaghetti sauce Jen, not rocket science, just pick one." Chad groaned and leaned heavily against the shopping cart.

"I could have done this alone you know. I didn't _force_ you to come with me." Jensen shot the blond an under heated glare and went back to browsing the shelves. 

This was so much easier with Jared. Jensen had never grown accustomed to being out in public again, though they had been building up to it. The truth was, he wasn't entirely sure he could have handled grocery shopping and he was pretty sure Chad knew that. No matter how much of an asshole Chad could be, Jensen knew he was his only real friend and that mattered. 

"Your leg acting up pretty bad?" Chad asked as they traveled further down the aisle, Jensen leaning just a little heavier than usual on his cane.

Biting at his lip Jensen shrugged and tried not to make his limp as obvious. "Just a little sore. Nothing I can't handle."

"You should get another aide Jen. At least someone to help with the PT part, work your leg out. The last thing you need is to damage yourself more. There's no fucking way I'm gonna come over and start bathing you again, no matter how much you miss it." Chad reached out and snagged a package of cookies as they passed, tossing it into the cart.

Jensen sighed and shook his head. Lectures from Chad were never fun but then, it wasn't like Jensen had anyone else in his life that really gave a damn about his well being. At least Chad was trying. "I'm fine Chad. I've moved down into one of the rooms on the first floor, I'm taking it easy. So don't get your hopes up, there will be no bathing involved."

Chad snorted a laugh - tossing a package of brownies into the cart. "Damn. You sure know how to damage a guy."

There was a laugh from the aisle over and Jensen instantly turned, heart quickening with hope. A moment later a man that was definitely not Jared walked past and Jensen's shoulders slumped, his head dropping down to peer at the off colored tile beneath his feet. Two weeks and counting, this really shouldn't matter anymore. Jared wasn't coming back.

"You're gonna be okay, right?" Chad asked quietly in that way he did sometimes that was too serious for Jensen's liking. 

Things between them should always be half offensive, mocking and rude, it was easier not to deal with the _real_ things. Jensen forced a smile up at Chad and reached into the cart, pulling out the brownies and cookies and setting them both on the shelf. "I'm a superhero remember? I have to be okay."

"Gayest superhero I know." Chad scoffed then smirked at Jensen, snagging a bag of marshmallows as they walked past. 

-===-

Jensen would be the first to admit he had a pretty plush life growing up. His family was wealthy - was still wealthy for the matter which was a really fucking good thing because Jensen was rapidly learning he was no good at hard work. He'd never had to do things like this, the hard labor of raking up leaves, and it was turning out to be a real bitch. 

As it turned out, holding a cane and using a rake at the same time was kind of impossible. And the leaves kept getting caught up in the wind and scattering away, rendering the pile he was making kind of pointless. 

"Fuck this," Jensen groaned and leaned heavily on the rake, closing his eyes and groaning. 

"I'm pretty sure the point is to keep them all in a pile then pick them up, not just spread them around the yard. But it could be an interesting new decorating technique."

Jensen slowly straightened up and turned, his heart hammering in that way he suspected it always would when face-to-face with Jared. The man just had that effect on him and even though it'd been nearly a month, Jensen thought he could still feel that pleasant lingering hum. It was the ghost of a feeling, like when a vision lingered and left the emotions hanging around in the air around him. 

"Hey," Jared whispered and took a step closer, sliding his hand slowly up through his hair in a gesture so familiar that Jensen ached. 

He'd given up on the idea of Jared ever showing up again - which was why he'd been out raking the leaves in the first place - and he didn't know how to handle him being here now. "Jared. Hi. How are you?"

"I'm... dealing. It's been a rough few weeks." Jared nodded and inched a step closer, looking around the yard slowly. "Work said you didn't hire another aide."

"No, I didn't." Jensen shook his head and let the rake drop, limping over to the place his cane was resting against a bush. "Do you want to come in? I could make some coffee or something. Or water. I mean, if you want to... stay. For a little while. To talk."

Jared's sigh was soft and weighted and Jensen was too afraid to turn around and see whatever look was on his face. There was so much that could be said now, maybe Jared had only come over to tell him all the reasons this couldn't work, all the reasons Jensen was just as fucked up as he'd said before. 

"Coffee would be good. How's your leg?" Jared trailed Jensen to the front door, reaching out to touch his arm the moment he got close. 

"Been a little sore lately. But I'm okay." Jensen wanted to fall into the touch. Amazing, the way he'd worked so hard to avoid Jared those first two weeks and had never realized what a touchstone the man had become. Even now when everything was so up in the air Jensen was soaking in the comfort almost greedily. "How's your family?"

"They're dealing too. I didn't really come here to talk about my family." Jared moved around him into the kitchen, heading over to make up the coffee like he was still just as comfortable moving around his home.

It made Jensen long for the way things had been for them, for just that little while. He sat slowly on bar stool and rubbed his fingers along his thigh. "What did you come here to talk about?"

"I understand why you didn't tell me." Jared kept his back to Jensen as he spoke, head dipped down, and Jensen could barely believe this was the same man that spent so many hours singing off key and swaying around his kitchen in nearly no clothing. "I've had some time to think about it and... I get it. I really do. Hell, even if you had told me I'm not entirely sure I would have believed you. Also, Chad took a good deal of the blame, said it was his fault, he'd talked you into keeping it secret."

Jensen's lips twitched in a faint smile, surprised that Chad had stuck up for him in any way. "Well that probably doesn't help my standing, taking advice from Chad."

Jared huffed out a small laugh and finally turned to face Jensen, tears reflecting bright over sad hazel eyes. "I thought it would make a difference you know, at first, I thought you telling me what you knew would make it all better somehow. Maybe I wouldn't have been as shocked, or maybe I could have stopped it somehow. But... that's wrong, isn't it?"

It hurt to know Jared was looking for some type of reassurance, one that Jensen couldn't give, so he ducked his head down and sighed softly. "I don't think you would have been able to stop it from happening. Heart attacks... sometimes they just happen. And even if you believed me, on the off chance, do you really think your parents would have?"

"Yeah. I... that's what I figured." Jared sighed and turned back to the coffee mug as it sputtered and finished brewing. "What did you see when you touched Megan?"

Jensen's gaze snapped up to Jared, heart fluttering with an all new type of hope. It wasn't like Jared had said anything that suggested they were going to be okay but he didn't look angry, or terrified, or about to run off again, so that was something. "Huh?"

"I saw you two, at the funeral, and she took your hand. That's how it works right? You touch them and you get a vision. So what did you see?" Jared slid a cup of coffee in front of Jensen, leaning on the counter and stooping down to meet his gaze.

"Her wedding day." Jensen didn't even harbor the idea of lying to Jared this time. Hell, the man could use some good news. He looked up and smiled at Jared, hesitating just a moment before reaching out and taking his hand. "You and her on her wedding day, you were getting ready to walk her down the aisle and she looked beautiful."

This time the shine in Jared's eyes didn't look all that sad. His smile warmed and his palm turned under Jensen's for their fingers to slide together. "Yeah? That's... it definitely sounds like one of the better visions."

"It was. I mean, it's not like I can control what I see. Saw a girl walk in on her fiancé cheating on her once, that was pretty shitty." Jensen's smile grew despite the words and he shifted just a little closer, daring to allow himself to hope.

"Chad mentioned that. And the car accident you saved him from. He kind of, explained the entire thing to me." Jared laughed and inched around the counter, sliding closer to Jensen. "He showed up at my place a few days ago, apparently we're both being emo and need to knock this shit off."

Jensen laughed and tugged on Jared's hand, pulling him just a little closer. They were drawn to each other like they always had been, probably like they always would be, and Jensen wanted this heaviness between them to fade away. "I'm so sorry for lying to you Jared. I wish... it should have gone differently. I wanted to be there for you."

"Like I said, I really get it. Why you didn't tell me." Jared sighed and slid a step closer, leaning in for their foreheads to meet. "I'm still... it's not like I'm all better, losing my dad... it's a lot to deal with. But I miss you. And I feel like I need to have you in my life. And I'm tired of being emo."

Pushing up off the bar stool, Jensen slid his arms around Jared and tugged him close, breathing easier than he had in far too long. "You don't think I'm fucked up?"

"Nah, you're my Jensenic, my own personal superhero," Jared chuckled softly and leaned in, brushing their lips together in a soft kiss. "Okay you might be a little fucked up. But I can handle that."

Jensen rolled his eyes but his grin grew and he pushed as close to Jared as he could. "As long as you don't start asking for lottery numbers or something, we should be good."

Jared laughed then pushed in closer, slanting their lips together, and Jensen could handle being a little fucked up as long as it came with Jared here with him.

-= Epilogue =-

_Dear Mr. Ackles,_

_Thank you for all your help and guidance through our family's difficult time. I don't think I can put into words just how your special insight helped us when we were struggling so much._

_I don't know how you do what you do but I know you have made me a true believer in the supernatural. I hope I can repay you somehow, someday in the future._

_All my best,_

_Annabell Scott_

"Whatcha reading?" Jared dropped down on the couch beside Jensen hard enough it caused him to bounce. 

Jensen huffed and offered the letter out to his boyfriend, ducking his head down so he wouldn't have to watch the emotion on Jared's face. Even after a year of this, a year of them being together, a year of Jensen reaching out to help people in need... it never really got easier. At least the being thanked part, Jensen had never adjusted to people's gushing thank yous.

"Another convert to the super special ways of my wonderful little psychic." Jared smirked and dipped forward to brush a kiss over Jensen's cheek.

"I am not a psychic. I hate when you say that." Jensen sighed but found himself leaning into Jared's warmth, like he always did. 

"At least I stopped using the Jensenic? Or you know, Chad's favorite, Miss Cleo." Jared laughed, sliding his arms around Jensen and tugging him hard up onto his lap.

"That joke is so old it's painful." Jensen sighed and sank against Jared's chest, taking the letter from his grasp and setting it on the side table. "I'm just glad this one didn't send some money with her letter. I hate when they do that more than anything. Like I want to get paid for helping find a lost dog."

Jensen never planned on going around and helping people in need. But it came with the full integration back into the real world. You never realized how hard it was not to touch people until you actively tried not to. Sometimes the things Jensen saw he could ignore - he had to ignore - but other times... well, thankfully, Jared was always there to help with the visions he had to share. 

Not everyone believed him - and the names he was called could be a little extreme - but at least he always tried.

"Mm where are you?" Jared hummed and kissed slowly along Jensen's neck, trailing his fingers down his back to tug under his jeans.

Jensen closed his eyes and swayed into Jared, rocking up against the heat of his body. "Right here, I swear."

His rolled his hips down with purpose against Jared's jeans, threading his fingers through the soft golden hair he never quite got enough of. Jensen had no idea what he would do without Jared. Thankfully though, he was pretty sure he'd never have to figure that out. Because Jared would always be there, Jared was the one solid thing over the last year - besides Chad, and _solid_ was a long stretch - that had never let him down. 

They were good, better than, and they were in love. That was really all Jensen needed. 

"You know Chad's gonna be in soon," Jared muttered even as his fingers worked over Jensen's waistline, tugging at the button and zipper and pushing the material down. 

Jensen groaned and squirmed back, shifting around to push his jeans and boxers swiftly down before climbing back onto his lover's lap. "Then I guess we better hurry this up huh?"

"Needy slut, some things just never change," Jared sighed then smirked up at Jensen, pushing his lips up to shove his jeans down to his thighs. 

Almost instantly Jensen's eyes were drawn to the hard length of Jared's flushed cock, tongue sliding over his lips as he watched Jared's fingers stroke almost leisurely over his flesh. It was something Jensen never got sick of, seeing Jared hard and wanting him, and their sex life definitely reflected that.

"You want him to walk in on us fucking don't you?" Jared's brows scrunched together, a smirk tugging at his lips. "Like the time he almost caught you sucking my cock."

"That was his own damn fault. Who doesn't knock before entering the kitchen anyway?" Jensen laughed and flopped over, snatching the bottle of lube tucked in the side table drawer. What? Nothing wrong with having a beyond healthy sex life.

Jensen didn't really need the stretching but pushing up and rocking down onto Jared's fingers was one of the best pleasures in the world. His fingers dug into Jared's shoulders and his head tipped back, a deep moan rising up through him as Jared's free hand pushed up under his shirt and mapped over his bare chest. 

"God, always so god damn beautiful," Jared sighed and worked his fingers up a few more times before drawing back, slicking quickly over his cock.

Jensen wasted no time in pushing up onto his knees and angling forward. He sank down onto Jared's cock with a deep moan, head falling back, body taking in his lover with that perfect combination of pleasure and stretch. It felt like coming home whenever their bodies connected like this and Jensen worked his fingers into Jared's hair the moment his hips dropped to settle on the man's thighs.

"Move. Come on. What are you waiting for? Chad?" Jared grunted and squeezed Jensen's thigh on his bad leg - it wasn't all that bad anymore but still. 

Groaning and dropping his head down to rest against Jared's, Jensen rocked up and sank back down, using a well practiced slide to bring their bodies together. Listening to Jared moan each time he rocked down and clenched around him made Jensen shudder and pick up his pace. 

There was something amazing about being comfortable with your lover, _knowing_ someone as well as Jensen knew Jared. The way they moved together was a rhythmic flow, hips meeting with the gentle smack of flesh, lips colliding between quick pants. 

"I love you," Jared breathed into the kiss, fingers gripping Jensen's ass tightly and drawing him up only to slam him hard back down.

"I love you too," Jensen echoed and curled his fingers around Jared's wrist, tugging his hand down to force his lover's fingers to curl around his cock. 

Jensen moaned louder as he rocked up into the touch and back down onto the thick length filling him up. His orgasm was just there on the edge, boiling up in him, and Jensen gave in to that complete loss of control. So many other parts of his life were all about the order - keeping his gloves on so he didn't get too many visions, taking over the family business - it felt like he could only be himself in moments like these with Jared.

"Fuck, yes," Jared groaned as his hips snapped hard up, Jensen's release sliding over his fingers. 

Falling forward Jensen kissed Jared deeply, trying to tell him all those things he'd never been able to put into words over the last year. How did you explain to someone just how important they were?

"If we have sex every day for six years, do you think it'll make up for the coma?" Jared asked as the kiss broke, sliding his lips over Jensen's jaw.

A half snort fell from Jensen as he pulled up and fell back on the couch, reaching out to snag his pants. Chad was coming by any minute after all. "I think we'd have to have sex every day for twelve years. Or twice a day for six years. Maybe even twice a day for twelve years."

"Challenge accepted, Mr. Ackles." Jared laughed, freezing when the front door slammed loudly against the wall just outside their room. "Shit."

Jensen fumbled quickly with his clothes, spinning around just as Chad stepped into the room. His face scrunched up and he groaned a moment later. "God damnit you two just had sex. How many times do we have to go over this? Spare me the gay!"

As Jared stood his arms slid around Jensen's middle, a deep laugh echoing around the room. "You could just stop coming over, that would solve both our problems."

"And miss out on my time with Miss Cleo? What kind of sidekick would that make me?" Chad turned, heading for the kitchen - unsurprisingly - and calling over his shoulder. "There better fucking be cookies waiting for me."

"You need better friends," Jared muttered against Jensen's ear and squeezing tightly, pressing a kiss below his ear. "Maybe you should go out and start touching people, invite home the good ones."

Jensen rolled his eyes and trailed after Jared and Chad into the kitchen. His life was never going to be normal and Jensen was pretty much completely okay with that.

The End


End file.
